Through the dark (punk Louis Tomlinson) (Collaboration with MyTeddybear_Baloe)

chapter 21

Louis POV

I can't sleep so i just keep turning around in my bed everything is just spooking around in my head. When i think i'm taking one step in the right direction with Alice we move two steps back. And Jake is not who she thinks he is he isn't better than me , man i'd like to kick his fucking ass. Its not like i wanted to abuse her but Benny kept treathening me and i did not know what to do else than just listen cause i was scared. And back then i was constantly under the influance of drugs of alcohol to forget everything around me. I haven't seen Benny in months and i honestly don't mind. He caused nothing but trouble. I can hear Alice sobbing in the room next too mine these walls are fucking thin that you can hear it when someone's flushing the toilet downstairs. I wish i could go over to Alice to comfort her but she probably woudn't let me and maybe i should give her some time to get used to all this. She won't be going anywhere that thought makes me smile. I finally have her again she's mine and mine alone i'm sure she still loves my somewhere deep in her heart. But she just needs to realize it and when she does i'm gonna be the luckiest lad on the planet. I sound like i belong in a mental institution i shake my head and turn my pillow around so my head is laying on the cool side. I stand up and open my balcony window and step outside and sit on one of the sofa's and watch the sky. When i was little my mom told me every star was someone that died, And when my dad died she would sit with me outside and point out a star and say that was him and she would talk to it pretending it was my dad and she would say he was gonna watch over me. slowly tears start sliding down my cheeks as i hide my head in my hands. If it wasn't for that scumbag my mom married after my dad died she would still have been alive. He freaking murdered her! The asshole is in jail right now i hope he fucking dies there he deserves it. I haven't visited my moms grave in a while, as soon as i could i moved far away just to be away from all those memories cause they hurt a lot. One by one the drups of rain are falling down making everything wet. And i just keep sitting there, the rain actually feels good i always sleep better when it rains it makes me think a lot clearer. It's just like the rain is refreshing my mind. When i'm completly soaked i go inside i take off my wet sticky clothes and dry my hair and crawl in to bed. Alice is probably sleeping right now maybe i should be some nicer to her and treat her well, show her that i'm not a complete monster. And with that thought i fall in a deep dreamless sleep.