Probability of Kismet | one shots

after all

so it's been so long just a very short update because it's almost Kath and Deej's 8th Anniv 💙

hope you guys enjoy this!

feel free to talk to me on twitter @lovertangi 😊
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flashback

'please talk to me love'

'no DJ not now, I need time and space right , my mind's a mess and if I talk to you, I fear that we might say things we would regret and I don't want that to happen'
'I  understand, but can I ask if you still trust me?' But she kept  silent ‘do you still love me?'
'yes I do DJ, I-i need to go now DJ'
'ok take care and remember that I love you so much'
bye'
‘bye' I did not want to end the call but she already did and all I can think is I will make things right

I was alone in my room, and it feels like my chest is tightening, making it hard for me hard to breathe, I need to stay calm and think things over. I was clutching my phone so hard when Magui burst inside and saw me in my state

'don't panic just get my inhaler in the drawer' she quickly did find it and gave it to me and after a few minutes I can breathe normally again and Magui is standing in front of me with worry in her eyes so I spread my arms and she hugged me tight
'Kuya you scared me please don't do that again' she is sobbing now
'hey don't cry now I'm sorry for that' I was wiping her tears when our mother walked in and so I whispered for her to leave us for now
'what happened to you?' Mama asked while  she was fussing over me
'nothing I'm alright’
'then why are you holding your inhaler?'
'it was nothing really’ then after a few seconds ‘I can’t lose her’
'I know son'

I couldn’t help but cry ,it pains me so much to even think of losing her. I can’t  bare it, I don't know how I can function without her, she's my lifeline without her I am nothing.

I woke up the next day because of a nightmare. I badly needed to see her and feel her warmth. That's when I remembered we have rehearsals for a fashion show today so I have a change to see her finally  and kept me going for the day.  I was out of my wits and so nervous while on the way where the show will be held.

It was a good thing Pat was there for me and drove my car since  I’m not in the right mind to do it myself. I was just looking outside and deep in thought trying to run on my mind the words I’ll say to her that I almost ran inside when I saw her car already parked in the venue, my eyes searching for her and when I eyes found her my heart literally skipped a beat but I have to get a hold of myself, since she asked for time and space for me. So I just need to be contented with this for now.

When It was our turn to rehearse. It feels like she's so close yet so far. How I  hope she can see the longing I have for her in my eyes. I want to hug her tight. After that I need to go backstage for the last fitting, I almost made them hurry so I can still get to see Kath, but when I got outside she already left

This was too much really, I need to talk to her,  I can't bear this no more, so I told Pat to drop me off at their house.

I was just about to ring the doorbell when the gate opened and Kath was on the other side. I was at a loss for words for quite some time that I didn’t know what to do. She motioned for me to get inside and I followed her to their garden, where I sat in front of her.

I took a deep breath and took her hand ‘I’m really sorry love what you heard were all lies, how can I look at anybody else when I already have you. You’re the only one, I hope you believe in me. This may sound cliche but from the moment that I met you right there and then I knew. I found the person, I want to spend the rest of my life with. I’ll work hard and even fight destiny just to make that happen.’ I had to stop talking because I’m almost out of breath and didn’t notice that we’re both crying already.

I stood up and went to her side. And she finally let me hug her and for a few minutes of silence I savour that moment. And silently promised to her that this will be the last time for this to happen.