Forced Eternity (Jalex)

Forgivness

Jack's POV

I was lying down on my side, on the bed, Alex's side empty and cold. Honestly, I wanted to forgive him, but, I knew eventually he'd get bored with me. I was below average at best. Sooner or later, I'd be nothing to him. So why allow myself to get close to him anyway?
The bedroom door creaked open, letting me know that Alex had walked into the room. It'd been almost a whole week since Alex had apologized to me. I knew he was sorry, the look in his eyes gave that away.
"Love, may I talk to you?" He asked me. I shrugged and turned to him. He came and stood beside the bed. He took a deep breath, his hands formed fists, then fell limp. "Why won't you forgive me? Can't you see this is hurting me? It's hurting you just as much, I can tell." He asked, his voice almost sounding hopeless.
"I'm fine. I just need time." I told him softly. He sighed and nodded.
"But..I've given you that." He mumbled. "Please, just forgive me."
"Alex, I told you; I-"
"I don't care." He said through gritted teeth and roughly pressed his lips to mine. He pulled on my hair, hard, making me moan, and his tongue explored my mouth. I really had no idea why, all of a sudden, he was being rough with me. He straddled my waist, and I tried to pull away from him.
"Alex, stop. We need to talk." I told him.
"No, no talking, just feeling." He replied pressing his lips back to mine. I wanted to give in, but knew that doing so would only complicate things. I tried to get him to ease up, but he just bit my lip and pulled on my hair again.
"Alex, no, I don't love you." I said in my final attempt to stop making out with him. He sighed and sat up.
"Fine. You want to talk. Talk." I'd hurt him. I'd poured salt into his healing wound. The pain was evident in his usually bright eyes. He crossed his arms over his chest.
"It's not like I don't want to forgive you, I do. It's just...complicated."
"Then uncomplicate it. Talk to me, love." He arms fell and he leaned down. Softly, he began playing with my hair. "What's wrong?" His voice was gentle again. I sighed.
"I'm scared. Okay? You'll get bored of me, I know it. I don't want to love you, because I'll get hurt, I know this. And you killed my dad, who's to say you won't kill me too when you get bored of me?"
"Love, I'd never get bored of you, first off. Second, I'd never hurt you, not on purpose, let alone kill you." He pecked my lips quickly. "Why would you even think that?"
"I dunno..."
"Don't think that again. Is that all you wanted to talk about?"
"There's one more thing. You brought me here, but what exactly do you want from me?"
"Simple. I want you to love me. That's all I want. But, you told me that that takes time."
"It does."
"Do you forgive me?"
"Yeah, you're forgiven." He smiled widely and kissed me deeply.
"Thank you." He breathed against my lips before kissing me once more. We continued on like that, lazily swapping kisses for a few minutes. "Love?"
"Hm?"
"I've missed you."
"I missed you too."
"Please, don't ignore me like that agin."
"Okay." I sat up, moving Alex off of my lap. "I'm tired, so I'm going to sleep."
"Erm, may I stay in here, or do you want me to leave?" He asked me, biting his bottom lip nervously. I shrugged.
"You can stay if you want." I told him. He squealed and laid down next to me. Instinctively, I wrapped an arm around his waist. "Goodnight."

____

I rolled over, half-awake, to find myself in the room alone. I opened my eyes, the room was still alight from the fires raging outside. I sat up and rubbed my eyes tiredly. I could hear talking and mumbling in the living room. I stood and followed the endless mumbling, and it led me to a distraught looking Alex. His hands were pulling at his hair, his eyes frenzied and panicked. Various books full of languages I didn't speak littered the floor around him. He hadn't even realized I was in the room.
"Alex?" I asked the disheveled guy in front of me. I kneeled down to him, placing a soft hand on his shoulder. He froze and looked at me. The panic leaving his features, and a sense of calm washed over him.
"Hello, love. I'm sorry, I must've awaken you." He smiled at me. "You slept well?"
"Yeah, better than I have for the past few weeks." I admitted to him. He kissed me lightly.
"Good to hear." He stood and helped me stand as well. "You know, nothing can keep me from you." I raised an eyebrow at him, confused as to where that was coming from.
"Okay?"
"Help yourself to anything in the kitchen, I'm working on something." He gave me a light push towards the kitchen as he sat back down on the floor, back in the same position as I first saw him in.
"Okay?" I started to go to the kitchen but stopped. "Uh, Alex, is something wrong?"
"Wrong?" He laughed loudly, the sound forced. "Nope. Nothing. Why?"
"I was worried is all." I said with a shrug and went into the kitchen. I made myself a bowl of cereal, the first real food I'd eaten in about a week. Mumblings filtered in through the living room, making my stomach tighten with worry. I knew Alex was lying when he said nothing was wrong, because why else would he be in there, mumbling in some other language, yanking at his hair?
Ignoring Alex's ramblings, I ate silently in the kitchen. When I finished, I went and took a shower, taking my time with getting out. When I came out of the shower, a towel fastened around my waist, I discovered that Alex had left again. Quickly, I dressed and searched for a note of some sort, but came up empty. I hated when Alex left the house.
The screams outside seemed to always get louder without him gone. Our home lost the feeling of home and became a house. The light faded, and it always looked darker without him. Even when I was keeping my distance from him, I hated when he'd leave. Sometimes, he left and came back less than twenty minutes later. But this time, something was obviously wrong, and who knows when he'd actually come back?
Sighing, I accepted that it'd be a long night, one that I'd probably be awake throughout and picked up my guitar. Maybe playing would drown out the noise of the true peril outside.