Tog/ACOTAR one shots

Don't let me down

What, Im actually updating? I know, shocker! Sorry, life has been hectic recently and I have like 4 drafts on this story, but cant seem to write a good one, but I put my music on shuffle and decided to write a fic based on whatever song comes on, I got "Don't let me down" by Chainsmokers, and my first thought was Nessian, so thats what I'm doing, sorry its trash, but what would you expect from an Actual Trashcan? 

On a good day Nesta barley had the will power to fake a smile, and so she began to hide behind the bitter, spiteful person she always has been, but now a faced with a new challenge, a person who can see behind this mask, can she even count on that to keep her sane?  No, the answer is no, nothing could keep her sane after all of this, her body being changed, the terrors of battle that still wake her in the dead of night.  

Today was definitely not a good day. No today was one of the worst. It started out normal, that is until she started reading. Reading, a pass time that can be a blessing or a curse, somedays it can bring her to a different world, a world in which she can be someone else, the problems that they face are different and almost calming in comparison to her own emotions pushing in on her from all sides. But today the words remind her of the loud, ardent words of the battle fields, and suddenly everything was too much. The reds of the cosmetics on her vanity too much like the blood of the soldiers she couldn't save, the cleaning cloth too much like the gauze she rapped around the wounds of those even if she knew it wouldn't save them. 

It was too much, everything reminded her of it, even when she closed her eyes she watched as the lights leave the eyes of so many younger illryans. 

~

It was time for Cassian to check on Feyre's sisters, although they won't admit it, Cassian knows that they have been struggling since the war. Nesta especially, though she won't admit it. He see's the slight shake in her hand, the way she flinches when she see's certain things. And so he decided that his vow to protect her definitely extends to this. When he walks in, he's surprised to find Nesta's not sitting in her chair. He runs into Elain in the hall. 

"where is Nesta?" he asks her. She looks stunned by the question. 

"I think she's... she's in her bedroom" Elain stutters. 

"Thank you" Cassian says  pushing past her. 

When he walks into her room, he finds her sitting, in the dark, in a corner, hunched over herself, hugging her knees, on top of her knees sits a pillow that she has buried her face in.  

~ 

Nesta heard the door open, but found she no longer cared. Someone was speaking, but she couldn't hear or understand the words, it was like she was underwater. She felt as if she had no control. 

~

She hasn't moved in the minutes he's stood there. He tried to communicate to her, but she showed no sign that she understood.

"Can I touch your shoulder?" he asks. She doesn't respond, so he takes it as a 'no'. He sits down next to her. And feeling like she might need an anchor, he grabs one of her hands. Content to just sit there with her as long as she needs. 

Sorry for the trash, but lowkey I wish someone would do what Cassian did when I have a panic attack.