Silence and Screams

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The cell was cool and quiet, making Cinder wonder what time it was. There were no windows, only bright walls that still seemed to glow in the near darkness. It could be anytime and she wouldn't know. She didn't know anything. She didn't know what the Doctor wanted from her, or where Scarlet and Thorne were, or even how much longer she would live. She was the definition of clueless.

It had been quite some time since Dr. Erland had left Cinder's cell, and everything was all too quiet. Her nerves were on edge, waiting for something bad to happen, but everything had been a mask of calm and silence. All was at peace, and that was the scariest part of Cinder's situation.

Though the atmosphere was filled with tension, Cinder had given a lot of thought to her position. She felt like a fool for falling into the Doctor's trap so easily, never questioning his kindness towards her all because he had helped her. She should have known that your enemies are often those closest to you.

Along with all the other emotions tumbling through Cinder, she felt guilty for believing Kai would want to hurt her after everything that he'd done for her. Kai was not the villain, but a victim. He was in the same position as Cinder. He was...

Horror struck Cinder in a sudden wave. What if Kai was there with Thorne and Scarlet? What if Iko was too? She hadn't answered Cinder's call, which could mean anything. They could be dead, and Cinder would be none the wiser.

No, she couldn't believe that. They were smarter than her in that direction. Maybe Iko had decided to go out on a shopping trip. It was Friday after all, and she could have been in the middle of a heated discussion over the price of hot pink heels. She also could have been on her couch watching some teen drama and shipping the characters so hard that she hadn't heard her phone. It wouldn't be the first time.

Kai could also be safe as well, though Cinder had no idea. She wished that she had called him. She should have gone straight to the police station and then called Kai. No, she should have just gone to the police station instead of the Darnel's house. She should have done so many things, but she hadn't. She couldn't change the past, no matter how much she wanted to.

The one time she had truly trusted someone, they had been her only enemy. She wouldn't make that mistake again.

What hurt most about the entire thing wasn't that Cinder was going to die. She could live (or die) with that.  No, it was the fact that she had dragged her friends down with her and not ever letting them know what they were getting themselves into when they befriended her.

It was not unlike a simple mouse trap. All the mice wanted was the cheese; all her friends wanted was to be kind to her. She hadn't done anything but sat there, never warning then about the sharp, deadly claws that would enclose them if they came near her. She could have saved them, but she had been too selfish. People always want what they can never have.

No, people always want what they shouldn't have.

Why had she ever allowed herself to love? It had only ever hurt others and herself. She should have isolated herself from all of them. She should have never told them the lies to her past. Cinder should have let them go before they were captured. She should have saved them from the imminent destruction that was herself.

Cinder felt like a monster. She had been so selfish, to allow such kind, innocent people to be burned in her path to ultimate annihilation. She may as well have killed them all. She just as well would have stabbed them in the back at the rate everything was going. If they were in a drama, she would play the part of death, and them the too willing victims who trusted too easily.

The silence of the room was deafening, and Cinder wished that it would be filled. She would rather the sound of nails on a chalkboard then the silence. It was a scream in its own sense, slowly ripping Cinder to shreds in its icy peril. She would welcome anything else to cleanse her guilty thoughts.

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