Supernatural Season 3 Quotes

Episode 8

A Very Supernatural Christmas

Madge: This might pinch a little my dear.

Dean: You bitch!

Madge: Oh my goodness me somebody owes a nickel to the swear jar. Oh, you know what I say when I feel like swearing... fudge!

Dean: I will try to remember that.

Dean: You fudgin' touch me again, I'll fudgin' kill you!

Madge: Very good.

Young Sam: Is Dad a spy?

Young Dean: He's James Bond.

Sam: Well, we're not dealing with the anti-Claus.

Dean: What'd Bobby say?

Sam: Uh, that we're morons.

Sam: Look, Dean. If you wanna have Christmas, knock yourself out. Just don't involve me.

Dean: Oh, yeah. That'd be great. Me and myself making cranberry molds.

Sam: I don't get it. You haven't talked about Christmas for years.

Dean: Well, yeah. But this is my last year.

Sam: I know. That's why I can't.

Dean: What do you mean?

Sam: I mean, I can't just sit around, drinking eggnog, pretending everything's okay, when I know next Christmas, you'll be dead. I just can't.

Dean: Look at this. Fuel for me and fuel for my baby!

Dean: She gave them to you for free? Do you sell them for free?

Shopkeeper: No way. It's Christmas. People pay a buttload for them.

Dean: That's the spirit.

Young Dean: First thing you have to know is we have the coolest dad in the world. He's a superhero.

Young Sam: He is?

Young Dean: Yeah. Monsters are real. Dad fights them. He's fighting them right now.

Dean: Christmas is Jesus' birthday.

Sam: No, Jesus' birthday was probably in the fall. It was actually the Winter Solstice Festival that was co-opted by the church and renamed Christmas. But I mean the Yule log, the tree, even Santa's red suit, that's all remnants of Pagan worship.

Dean: How do you know that? You gonna tell me next... the Easter Bunny's Jewish?

Dean: Sam, why are you the boy that hates Christmas?

Dean: Wreaths, huh? Sure you didn't want to ask her about her shoes? I saw some nice handbags in the foyer.

Sam: Huh, when you sacrifice to Holnacar, guess what he gives you in return?

Dean: Lap dances, hopefully.

Sam: Dean, you okay?

Dean: Yeah, I think so.

Sam: So I guess we're dealing with "Mr. and Mrs. God", nice to know.

Dean: So what the hell do you think we're dealing with?

Sam: Actually I have an idea.

Dean: Yeah?

Sam: It's uh, it's gonna sound crazy.

Dean: What could you possibly say that's gonna sound crazy to me?

Sam: Um, Evil Santa.

Dean: Yeah, that's crazy.