"You're blonde?" I chuckle after a while. Raphael groans and runs a hand through his hair. Him and I both stand up, and he's much shorter than he was as a turtle, but still tall next to me. I ignore the sound of the thunder outside, despite my intense fear of it.
"Could ya just get me some clothes, gemstone?" his usually annoyed voice says. My eyes widen.
"Oh, right." I say and stand up, exiting the bathroom. As I pass the bathroom door, I frown at how broken down it is. "Smooth, Raph, just break our doors."
"Well, I try." he responds sarcastically. I roll my eyes jokingly and exit, walking towards Vern's room.
I slowly open the door and note that the storm has died down to light rains. I then sneak towards his closet and pull out the first thing my hands feel.
"So you're finally out of the bathroom, huh?" Vern asks from his bed. When I face his direction I can see that, even though it is dark, he is looking at the ceiling.
I slowly hold the hanger with the clothes on closer towards me. I clear my throat a bit, shock and nerves flowing through my body.
"Uh, yeah." I respond softly. Vern sighs, I can hear it.
"Raph get you out?" he asks.
"Yeah."
There's silence, and I'm about to leave when Vern talks again.
"Look, Jules, I'm really sorry." he says and I sigh. This is the conversation I dread having.
"Don't worry about it." I lie. I'm still very cut up about our encounter, but don't want to dwell on it too much. "Goodnight." I say quickly and head towards the door. Vern sits up, clearly not sleepy enough to drop the suspicious way I came into his room.
"Wait. Why are you in here?" he asks. I bite my lip nervously, which thankfully he can't see. I tilt my head to the side and fake a smile.
"Enough with the questions." I say quickly before exiting his room. I shut his door and exhale a deep breath. I head to the bathroom where Raphael is examining his human form in the mirror, most likely frowning at his appearance. He plucks a few strands of blonde hair, his frown deepening. He finally faces me.
"I can't believe I'm blonde." I know he's serious, but I can't help but allow a small bubble of a chuckle to escape my lips. He frowns at this, clearly not amused. "What?" I smile tightly, still quiet. "What's so funny, gemstone?"
I hold the clothes out for him, only now noticing what it is. He glares at the garment before glaring at me. "A robe?" he asks flatly. I smile in encouragement.
"Was the first and only thing I could find without Vern asking too many questions." I explain, even though I don't need to. He huffs before taking the robe from me.
"Look away." he instructs. I obey and turn my back on him so that he can put on the robe. "Okay, you can look now." he says. I turn and smile softly at him. It doesn't look as bad as I thought it would.
I drink in his new appearance. His green and amber eyes remain unchanged, and I'm thankful for that. A stubble frames his jaw, blonde like the color of his hair. He has a perfect nose and the perfect lips, too. Lips that notified me that I definitely was not kissing a mutant turtle.
Oh gosh. I kissed him. Raphael and I kissed.
"Hello, earth to Juliet." Raph deadpans, waving a hand in front of my face. I snap out of my daze and look at him as he exits the bathroom. I follow him to the kitchen, suddenly overcome with questions.
"How did you turn human? And why did you come here? Why did you kiss me?"
"First and foremost," he spins around suddenly, causing me to halt in my tracks, "You kissed me."
"I did not!" I protest in disbelief. He ignores me.
"Secondly, Donatello created this whack serum thing which is based off emotions or something like that. Whenever I feel overwhelming emotion, I turn either into a human, or into my usual freak self."
"You're not a freak." I say softly.
"Juliet, wake up." he suddenly snaps, his voice darker yet more defeated than before. "This isn't your cheesy beauty and the beast movie. This is Donnie's messed up idea of an experiment, and I'm a guinea pig. I'm not human."
"Yeah, you aren't human, but does it matter? You're human now." I say desperately. I don't want him to go. I don't want him to hate himself either, or call himself a freak. Suddenly it feels as if our happy moment is being shattered. That it's a jenga game and I pulled out the wrong piece, causing everything to come crashing down.
"I'm not human, Jules." he snaps, raising his voice. "I look human. And that's it, alright, that's it." his voice cracks slightly as he turns towards the fire escape. The fire escape which could one day be my destiny. "I need air. This is a lot to process."
"It's raining." I say, my big eyes fixed on the back of his head. I'm desperately hoping he will say something else. Something more positive.
"It's drizzling, and I won't die because of it." he says darkly before heading out onto the fire escape. I moisten my lips and follow after him. Before he can escape the window, I hold his hand with my bandaged one, and he looks at me.
"Raphael, please just..." just what? Deny the obvious? Pretend that everything is normal? That we're normal? "stay." I say softly. He looks at me now, blinking.
"You don't want that, trust me." he says. I realize suddenly that he's as broken as I am. Being a mutant, it must suck. He believes he's incapable of being loved because he's not human. He has a heart and a soul but he's not human.
"Out of everything that's happened thus far..." I suck in a breath. "You're the only thing that makes sense."
He let's out a humorless laugh and looks at me with his eyes which reveal his brokenness. "See, that's the thing... None of this makes sense."
"I know, I know." I squeeze his hand softly. "But we don't need to worry about any of that right now. Let's just forget everything and everyone... Just for a minute." I try to convince him.
I don't register when he envelopes me in a hug, his chin on my head. I respond almost immediately, holding him tightly and burying my head in his chest.
"I don't think you understand how it feels to be a freak." he starts to say. I'm perplexed. Raph has never spoken about his emotions before. "And then to have a sliver of hope that... maybe that might change. And then to realize it's all a lie."
"It's not all a lie." I say, muffled because of his chest. "You're human to me."
***
The next morning I wake up, my head on a hard chest. My eyes flutter open, and I realize that I didn't have a nightmare last night. I look down at an unfamiliar blond male, and memories of last night flash through my mind. It's Raphael.
Raphael and I spoke until late night that night, getting to know one another beyond ourselves. I haven't spoken so freely and comfortably with someone in years.
I don't register when a door closes and Vern enters. "Morning." he isn't facing me yet. "You didn't sleep in your bed last night." he heads to the kitchen to prepare for coffee.
"Uh... Yeah." my voice is hoarse. I run a hand through my matted hair and think about how hideous I probably look. How hideous I've probably looked since last night. Vern finally faces me and furrows his brows.
"Who's that?" he asks. I try to smile a convincing smile at him, knowing he probably won't believe me.
"Um... Raphael?"
