THE SCHOLARSHIP. » D. SWING

• ✧- chapter two

DESIRAE

"Well what are you gonna do?" Monty inquired as he kept his glance on me making me unwrap myself from the thoughts that previously quaked my brain. What was I gonna do I thought. I never had the desire of becoming pregnant...at least not yet. But I knew all to well that in the inevitable future that the guilt of possibly murdering the fetus growing inside of me would eventually consume me whole, dragging me into a rocky shore that could probably never be calmed.

"I-I just don't know. I'm not gonna tell him and you have to swear you won't either."

"You know I won't tell, Des... but he has a right to know whether or not his son... or daughter will be conceived."

"I can't tell him that if I don't even know the answer."

"What the hell do you mean Des? I get that you're young and you have a future you don't want to uh... ruin but like damn, you're not really considering getting rid of the baby right?" He questioned my ulterior motives that I wasn't even sure about but he was right. I do have a future I don't want to ruin. By this time next year I intend to be enrolled into Howard university and that dream never ever included a stroller and a pacifier.

"Stop calling it that! It's not a baby yet. Look you know I have plans for college and the whole 9. Having this baby could just...derail me of becoming the best version of myself. "

"Now you sounding like Bari, his shit starting to rub off on you. But he ain't the one pregnant...you are. Des I'm not tryna sound like no preacher or nothing but...I think you better keep that b- fetus growing inside of you. You know it's a sign from... you know God. Everything happens for a reason Des." Montell rambled on shyly, remembering that I wasn't as big on God as he was. If I was I would still be a virgin which I should have. But Lord knows what Jabari does to me. From his hazel eyes to his large hands and his warm embrace and God ... that deep voice - that deep voice that has the ability to move mountains inside of me. He was a blessing in disguise. "Maybe that baby is a blessing in disguise Des." Monty continued as if he had just read my mind, stealing the sweet words from me that I believed described who Jabari was and is but to Monty that title belonged to the child that was yet to come.

Yet to come? Here I go confusing myself just because Monty was able to get into my head like always when I was bound to make a bad decision. He knew me like the back of his own hand. Ever since we were kids it's been like that...him saving me as if I were a damsel in distress, which was very well needed seeing that he's stopped me from multiple dumb decisions that could've earned me a whooping from my mother and a mark on my left butt cheek. Unfortunately Monty failed his mission of saving me this time around- as if he could've. I was and still am heavily infatuated with the man named Jabari and nobody but myself could've stopped me from delivering myself into temptation. I just wish we were kids again when it was me and him- and occasionally Boogie against the world.

"Montell...thank you." I whispered as I adverted my attention to him once again, watching him as he messed around absentmindedly with the laces of his fresh black and white Jordan twelves which I had already known he hadn't purchased with his own honest money- but I couldn't save him from that. He finally looked up at me, his back still to the wall of my small bathroom. He looked confused at first but he had finally got the message after a few involuntarily seconds.

"That's what friends are for Des. You don't gotta thank me." He reassured amongst a light chuckle

"I feel like I do you know. You're always there for me Monty and you know it."