Being Invisible

Chapter 2: Getting to Know Miriam

After an exhausting first week of school, I flopped onto my bed. I knew I was a freshman, but regardless, my bed was littered with stuffed animals. I couldn't bring myself to give any of them away. Each one had a meaning, depending on the person it came from. This plump, orange & blue butterfly was from my aunt Shelia who helped me to really embrace who I really am. That rainbow monkey came from my grandfather who taught me about Christ & got me going to church. Then I happened to look over at a white horse sitting all lonely besides my dresser. That one came from Miriam. Back when she was 10 & I was 8. I had kept it all this time. We used to be so close back then, I can't remember what happened to make us grow apart like we are now. With this thought at the most high of importance in my head I made my way down the hallway to Miriam's room.

A few soft knocks on her door & a few moments later she opened the door. She slowly pulled her sparkly pink earbuds out & said " What do you want, Rose?"

What did I want? I wanted to talk to her, figure out what went wrong all those years ago. "I just thought we could... hang out."

"Yeah uhm, about that... I'm busy so maybe later?"

"Sure." I spoke softly as I backed away from her door. She didn't really look busy. All she was doing was listening to music, right? Well maybe the twins would want to hang out with me. They'd be home in another hour or so. For now, I didn't want to be at home. The only other person I could spend time with would be my mother & I just couldn't handle her raging hormones right now. 

Poof. Invisible. I tiptoed down the hallway like they do in spy movies, even though it wouldn't make a difference in my case. For these next few hours I wouldn't exist. Wait, maybe I could see what Miriam's so busy doing! 

I spun around & walked straight up to her door. Could I go through walls & doors? Hmmm... there's a first time for everything! I was a bit hesitant at first but I knew once I stuck my big toe through the door, the rest of me could follow.

The first thing I saw in her room was color. It was like a firework show in your face. The farthest wall back consisted of a bright pink with a light blue trim on the top. The wall to the left was covered in splatters of neon on top of a black background. The wall to the right was her throne of a bed with those things that hang from the top to make you feel like a princess. The wall over there was covered with pictures. Thousands I bet. Her room was so extravagant compared to mine which was simply a light brown. I wonder how much time she spend doing all this. And WHEN? I thought I knew her pretty well, I guess not. 

She wasn't busy at all! In fact all she was doing was laying on her bed, stomach down with her earbuds in & a notebook in front of her where she would occasionally write something down. She had her music up loud enough that I could hear very softly music being played. Was that country? She didn't listen to country... did she? 

The song she was listening to sounded sad. A little too sad for the up- beat Miriam I'd come to know. It was a voice that I was somewhat familiar with, Rascal Flatts I believe. 

My wish for youIs that this life becomes all that you want it toYour dreams stay big, your worries stay smallYou never need to carry more than you can hold

I heard these lyrics as I stood nearby her bed, hovering over her unmoving body, but then he body began to shake. Was she having a seizure? I'd never known my sister to have a seizure before. What do I do in this situation? Wait. I was invisible. Unknown to the world around me... I couldn't help her right now. I couldn't just become visible right in front of her either. There'd be a lot of questions I couldn't answer. 

Then it hit me. She was crying. Full out tears. The constant runny nose. The signs of a broken heart. Maybe Dallas had broken up with her. Personally, I've never liked any of Miriam's boyfriends. There was one that I saw as perfect but he ran away with one of Miriam's best friend's. He & her friend Olivia just drove off together one night. No one's heard from either one of them since. 

I know she could feel me but I couldn't help myself. I had to wrap her up in a big bear hug. I held her while she cried. After about ten minutes the waterfall of tears slowed. Her nose she wiped with a nearby tissue & her body was more stable. 

"I miss you", she whispered into her bedspread. 

Maybe her feelings for Joshua ran deeper than I'd imagined. He was who ran away with Olivia. 

Miriam sat up slowly & gingerly reached under the mattress on her bed, pulling out a small photograph. Certain enough, it was Joshua. I wondered what had happened between them during the short time they were dating to cause her this much pain with his absence. 

I realized in this moment that I knew close to nothing about Miriam. I'd be assuming things for years. I've never gotten to know her. That's going to change & if she won't hang out with me I'll just be with her like this. I wonder if she even had a friend she'd tell this stuff too. Olivia was her closest friend & she hasn't brought a friend home in a long time. Not since Olivia left town. She'd hang out with groups but you don't really want to share some things to a big group of people. There's got to be one person that you trust enough. 

I may be invisible while I do it. But I want to be that one person for her. I was finally seeing my sister through new eyes.