Hate

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Have you ever liked someone?

So much that a certain smell reminds you of them?

Or a sound

A color

A type of music

Have you ever liked the way that person talks?

The way she pronounces a word

The way she smiles

The way she laughs

The way she acts

The way she eats

And then she does something that, until that moment you didn't know she was capable of doing

She kissed you

She fucking took your first kiss

Something that was supposed to be 'romantic'

Because you were having a panic attack and she didn't know how to calm you down

Then afterwards she asked you- she fucking had the audacity to ask- if you could just forget about it because she "wasn't ready for a relationship"

And you agreed

Because she kissed you

And that alone made you believe that you had a chance

That if you just waited

Maybe in time

She'll be ready

But no

You waited

And waited

For months

Seven months to be exact

But true to her word she acted like the kiss didn't happen

So you respected that

You respected that she wasn't 'ready'

So you tried to move on

But some months later you're having a conversation with her on the phone

And she asked you out

You were ecstatic 

So fucking estatic

And you agreed

Looking back on it you should've seen that you made a horrible choice

Because two days later

She texted you

"I think we need to talk"

And right away you knew

You fucking knew

She said "I think we might've rushed things"

You felt your chest tighten

And you were struggling to breathe

You were torn

You thought she had finally come around

You don't text back for a while

Not because you were ignoring her

But because of the fact that you didn't know what to say

Then after a while

After a while

You reply

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