Silent Blue ✦ 2jae (discontinued)

. eleven .

"Do you smoke?"

Youngjae sat on the couch with his legs pulled tightly to his chest, holding the cup of hot milk tea Jaebum gave him. It was like everything slept except for the two of them, something alive and quiet stringing them together, and Youngjae felt it pulling.

"No," Jaebum answered, legs crossed and with his eyes deeply rooted to Youngjae's hands around the mug and his lips every time he took a sip. "I'm sorry my clothes smell like that, Youngjae."

"Well don't say that." Youngjae whispered into the tea, like he was trying to drown out his words. Jaebum sat still in the chair across from him, pondering what to tell him. "It's not your fault." They sat silent for another moment or two before he asked, "Drink?"

"A beer on occasion, but hardly." He didn't hesitate to tell the truth, and he felt no need to lie. It was like an interview but with someone he trusted without knowing. His stomach turned.

"I visited my mom in rehab the other day. I think that's what the nightmare was." And just like that, Jaebum knew what Youngjae meant. In one sentence, he knew the why. He knew the what, too, but he didn't know the when or the how, and he didn't care. That was too much to ask of the boy anyway, and he wanted him to be okay.

"Are you feeling any better now?" Jaebum asked, and Youngjae nodded, sipping his beverage once again.

"But if you don't smoke..." He trailed off, unsure of whether it was a good idea to finish the question. He didn't want to sound insensitive or insult Jaebum— after all, it may have been something in his drawer that happened to smell like tobacco. "Where do you get that double vanilla, black devil cherry odour? Harvest brand, right? It's not you, I know that much."

Jaebum's head dropped low, and he bit at the fingernails that were already short to the quick. He wanted to lie and say that his co-workers smoked on break, but that would never be enough for the smell to stick to him so potently. But the truth embarrassed him and might have hurt Youngjae. He'd never want that.

"Don't lie, please." I wouldn't dream of it.

"My workplace allows people to smoke, and it sticks to my clothes," is all he said without being too specific. It wasn't the whole truth, but it was the truth after all. Lots of places allow customers to smoke, right? It's what he thought, anyway. Being inside, the smoke would never go outside, and—

"You're a good person, Jaebum... Sorry for this."

At that, the older stood up and walked to sit next to Youngjae and felt a light weight on his shoulder. "It's okay, Youngjae."

"Can we go back to bed?" Jaebum nodded slowly and took the drink from the younger's hands. He could tell that he was already falling asleep before they got there. "Thank you," Youngjae let out, and Jaebum only smiled into his hair as they lie down.

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