Trying to Escape the Hunt

Partial family reunion

Something about staring at the light blue sheet and knowing that they were cutting me open on the other side put me off. They let Spencer inside the room and I could tell that he was having a hard time as well.

He was sitting in a chair next to my head, one hand in mine and the other one was moving periodically though my hair. He was mumbling things softy; I caught a few quotes here and there that I recognized but he moved onto the next one before I had a chance to place them.

"Everything's going to be alright." I said, squeezing his hand tighter. I couldn't feel anything lower then my chest. Even the tips of my fingers were a little numb. The medication they had me on felt like a thick fog inside my mind. I could only focus on one thing at a time, but it didn't seem like I had a choice on what my mind chose to focus on.

He didn't say anything. He almost seemed more worried then I felt. I knew that he was worried about his mother's sickness getting not only passed down to him, but also to our daughter. I didn't know how to make him feel better about that. I couldn't tell him that there wasn't a chance because there is, a small chance, but it's there. I tried reminding him about that, but he always found a way to make it seem more plausible.

When they were prepping me, one of my nurses was telling me about the procedure, one that she's had before. She had told me that she was confidant our kid would come out fine. She had overseen the ultrasounds and said that everything looked okay, in fact she said it looked better then what they were making to out to be. That she had seen worse cases have happy endings. Spencer liked hearing the news but that didn't stop him from sweating bullets right beside me as they took a sharp knife to my gut.

Him and I hadn't talked much about the actual baby. The only things that him and I got for her was a crib, some clothes and a few packs of diapers. This still didn't seem real to the two of us. The sound of doctors moving around and talking hurriedly on the other side of the curtain pulled me from my thoughts. The sound of crying followed.

"What's going on? Crying's good right?" I pulled on Spencer's hand even though I already had his attention. He peered around the sheet, looking over what was going on. He came back around after a few seconds.

"Everything's fine, they need to make sure she's okay. Yes, crying's good." That didn't stop my panic though. He sat back down. "Calm down." His attitude seemed to do a whole 180. He was suddenly calm and ready. The doctors were still talking to one another and there was still crying.

"Go to her." I pushed his arm towards the sheet.

"Add-"

"I'll calm down if you're with her." That worked, and he moved back on the other side of the curtain. I tried to do as I said I would, but it was harder then I thought. I forced myself to focus on the crying. As long as she was crying, then everything would be okay. She's breathing. I heard Spencer talking but for the life of me, I couldn't make out the words. After what felt like years Spencer reappeared on my side of the curtain, this time a small bundle in his arms. I found myself trying to sit up, only for the doctor to say something on the other side and I remembered they had cut me open. Spencer sat back down in his chair.

She was still screaming her head off, her face a bright red charry color. Her fists were balled up tightly that she moved around as she saw fit. I would have asked to hold her, but I didn't trust the numbness in my hands to support her, so I settled with touching her, her face, her arms, anywhere. I would have thought her being safely in front of me would calm me down, but I felt an entirely new emotion fill me completely. It was suddenly very real. I could see her in his arms, I could touch her with my fingers, I could hear her cries.