A Modest Proposal (Kim Namjoon/ BTS) (#SerendipityAwards)

9. Run

So many complex, but I'm lookin' for love.

"I think the most important love,” Min Yoongi deliberated as he looked straight into the camera Jae Chan was aiming at him, “is the love you feel for yourself. Till you can’t accept your own being without any inhibitions, you can’t accept that of someone else’s.”

Namjoon listened with rapt attention as he and the members monitored Yoongi’s interview. Jae Chan had commenced the shooting of their individual segments with regards to the members’ thoughts on the first mini-album and what their chief motivation had been for the songs included on it. Yoongi had volunteered to go first and Namjoon knew exactly why.

“I bet he wants to finish this as soon as possible and go back to sleep,” So Min whispered in Ji Ah’s ear and the brunette-haired woman bit back a chuckle. The past few weeks with Bangtan had familiarized the pair with the members’ habits and idiosyncrasies and Ji Ah had no doubt that her colleague’s observation was the right one.

And sure enough, as soon as Jae Chan announced the conclusion of his segment, Yoongi rose, stretching his arms and shooting the members a lazy grin as he ambled out of the recording studio. Namjoon laughed with the others, teasing Yoongi for his lethargy.

Ji Ah’s gaze was fixed on him, smiling as she watched the rapper, happy and surrounded by the people he loved and who loved him right back. Looks like there's no cause for concern, she thought but a tap on her shoulder diverted her attention.

Jae Chan was studying her intently, his eyes roving to where Namjoon was seated. “I hope we don’t have any issues here,” he said quietly and the inference was implicit in his words.

Ji Ah shook her head. “None at all.” The last thing she needed was her boss suspecting her of inappropriate indulgences and she realized that she’d have to conduct herself carefully around Kim Namjoon, who had somehow managed to, again, breach her defenses.

“Alright, Mr. Kim, you’re next,” Jae Chan declared absent-mindedly as he fixed the position of the camera.

Three pairs of eyes turned towards him quizzically. Seokjin and Taehyung exchanged perplexed looks and Namjoon’s forehead furrowed as his eyes found Ji Ah’s.

She chuckled as Jae Chan realized his error. “I think he means the leader,” she stated as the videographer nodded hurriedly.

Namjoon strode towards the chair positioned in the middle of the room, plopping into it slowly as he faced the camera. He gulped uncertainly, his eloquence at a loss for words. This was rare, and though he knew what he wanted to say, for some reason, the syllables refused to piece themselves together. Ji Ah watched him struggle, wondering if she had mistaken his nervousness for contentment.

The noise in the room seemed to have faded into the background as the leader attempted to convey his emotions. There was so much he wanted to express; how the concept of the mini-album had been envisioned, how the songs had been written, how the title had been chosen. But in that moment, Namjoon simply couldn’t utter a word.

“How about another member goes before Mr. Kim?” Ji Ah’s suggestion lanced through his convoluted thoughts. “I think he needs a little more time and since he’s the leader, it’d be symbolic for him to go last.”

Jae Chan considered her idea and asserted his agreement. Seokjin took Namjoon's place, patting the younger man’s back as he quietly slipped out of the room. Ji Ah’s gaze rested on him and she leaned towards So Min. “Take over for me for a bit,” she said, not giving the woman a chance to voice any objections as Ji Ah followed Namjoon.

She found him perched atop a windowsill, staring out into space, his fingers entwined tightly. So engrossed was he that he didn’t notice her until she placed a palm on his shoulder.