A Modest Proposal (Kim Namjoon/ BTS) (#SerendipityAwards)

Outro: Her

"Nae modeun wonder,
E daehan answer,
I call you her, her,
'Cause you're my tear, tear~"

Months Later

Dear Ji Ah,

         How have you been? Before you laugh at this old-fashioned means of communication, let me just tell you that I wanted to send you an actual letter instead of an email for once. Plus, I may or may not have broken my phone. But this is more romantic, don’t you think? Anyway, we just got back from the first leg of our world tour and you have no idea how badly I want to see you. Bang PD says we can take a few days off before resuming work so I’m planning on coming home. It’s been a tough few months, what with the concerts and the new album and all the promotions to go with it but you know what keeps me going? The thought that at the end of this road is a future I can share with you. When you came to Incheon to see us off, I didn’t tell you how much I appreciated you being there. Just seeing you makes everything a whole lot better, makes the stars shine brighter.

          By the way, did you hear? Hoseokie and So Min have been getting along quite well these past few months. I accidentally heard Jae Chan reprimanding her for involving herself too closely with an idol and blowing everything up like a certain someone. It looks like we’ve been setting terrible examples, love. But I’m happy. Hoseokie deserves to have something like we do. Everyone does. Though I still think “we’re the only true lovers” stands true. Yep, I had us in mind while writing the lyrics of DNA even though I had no idea how things would turn out between us. But I had hope. I’m ranting, aren’t I? But I can’t help it. I just miss you so much. It’s weird not having you around to annoy the life out of me. Yoongi Hyung misses you too; he says you’re probably the only person who can handle a dork like me, haha. I agree completely. But on a serious note, it’s not just him but all the boys. Don’t be surprised if Taehyungie decides to tag along with me to see you. By the way, I loved the little standee you sent for commemorating our album release. The item along with this letter is my answer, considering the fact that, you know, we don’t get to see each other often. Don’t kill me, please.

           When can I see you? Jae Chan tells me you’re planning on returning to MSL in a couple of months. If this is true, then I’m elated. We can celebrate your birthday together and you know what that means. And, Ji Ah, I remember what you said to me when we met last year. You said you would leave if I showed even the tiniest bit of change in myself. I think I’ve shown you a whole lot more than that. But so have you. Which means the proposal is off, which also means that you don’t have to be afraid anymore. When we video called last week, you said you were much more confident in yourself, that you were beginning to reach a point where you could finally love yourself. Let me help you the rest of the way, like you helped me. You know we’re a miracle. It’s clear enough now. And I would love to have you shoot the rest of the Love Yourself documentary if you’re still up for it. Won’t you please come back to me? I’ll love you till all the stars come shooting down, and even after then. Because you are my beginning and the end itself.

Yours, if you’ll have me,

Namjoon.
                                 ***

Ji Ah clutches the letter tightly as her eyes devour every syllable, lips curling into a smile. Trust Namjoon to be so dramatic. Her grin widens when she sees the gift that has arrived with it. A CD crammed with videos of him and her, of her sleeping, of him working, of their first date, videos she and Namjoon have shot of each other. Warmth, love and affection pool in her chest and her eyes close, her mind conjuring an image of the rapper’s face, his endearing dimples which should be illegal. She is happier now, more at peace with herself, though she knows that it will still take a while for things to be alright. Maybe they won’t ever be but Ji Ah doesn’t mind. She will always have people who will care nevertheless, people like Kim Namjoon.

Ah Ra invades her bedroom to summon her to dinner, her gaze landing on the piece of paper in her sister’s hands, a paper more dear to her than life itself. “Is that a letter from Namjoon Oppa?”

Ji Ah nods, the smile still intact on her face. “It is. He wanted to go all Victorian Age on me.”

“Isn’t that just the most adorable thing ever?” Ah Ra quips, grinning widely and Ji Ah can’t help but chuckle in response. “So Pride and Prejudice. Though I’m pretty sure Oppa and you could even give Darcy and Elizabeth a run for their money!”

The videographer laughs then, silently agreeing. Hadn’t all of this started with a proposal anyway? “We sure could.”

Ah Ra probes further, the romantic in her dying to know how her sister’s romance with Kim Namjoon is going to fare. “And? What does the letter say? Where do you and Oppa see yourselves in the future?”

The answer is firm and Ji Ah doesn’t doubt the certainty with which it forms itself on her lips. After all, she has known it for a while now, known it since she met Namjoon again on that fateful day almost a year ago. It wasn’t a coincidence then and it isn't a coincidence now. Fate, it has to be fate.

“Together, we see ourselves together.”
                                 ***
I cannot thank you all enough for being so supportive of me and of this story. The themes explored in it are close to my heart; I've always believed that it's so very important to value yourself. You matter, what you feel matters, what you think matters. And there is nothing wrong with choosing yourself above others if you need to. Because you need to be happy first if you want to make others happy. But there is no obligation. More importantly, you need to do what you want, what you think will help you through life. And I hope you all enjoyed this story as much as I enjoyed writing it!

There will be two bonus chapters and I promise to publish them as soon as I can! Until then, I bid you a fond farwell.

All the love,
Haya.