Falling Apart | k.th (Complete)

Sisters

“If I wait a little longer,
If I stay up a few more nights,
I’ll go see you,
I’ll go pick you up.”
- Spring Day

  The day I feared the past few nights has come. I need to go back to Germany today, but the hardest part about this is saying good-bye to Tae. We got so close these past few months, that I cannot imagine going a day without seeing him.

  “You promise you will call me every day and text me in any free minute you have?” Tae asks. This moment is even worse than I imagined it to be. It breaks my heart to leave him, but I want to know what is left of my mother and I want to visit her grave. I need to give her a last good-bye. “I promise Tae. And I promise that I will come back as soon as possible.” The others are standing a few steps behind Tae, giving us time to say our good-bye. “Don’t forget me, Syra.” A tear is running down his cheek and breaks my heart a little more. “I will never be able to forget you Tae.” I say while wiping away a tear and kissing his cheek where it just stopped. “Jagiya, you will always have my heart.” He pulls me in a tight hug. “I love you, Jagiya.” He says and it seems like he cannot let me go.

  “Tae, I need to go now otherwise I will miss my flight.” I say after we stand there hugging for a few minutes. “Don’t go.” He replies but loosens our hug. Letting him go feels like the hardest thing to do. He gives me one last kiss and releases me to go to my flight. As I turn around, I immediately start crying. So much can happen in a few weeks. I hope we won’t lose touch.

¤¤¤¤¤

  After my long stay in South Korea, it feels like coming home. I entered my old living room and looked for my mother, the thought about her being dead hits me again and in this moment I just realize that she is gone for sure. She isn’t here to greet me anymore, to ask me how my day was or to cook me something after I come back home from school. But this isn’t my home anymore. Here is no one left I love.

  I am entering the old bed room of my mother to sleep in her bed, remembering her one last time. Her bedsheets are still smelling like her, it is a scent I got so familiar with. I fell asleep, thinking about how my life would be now with her still by my side. Would I be in love with Tae? Would we have gotten so close or would we stopped meeting some when? Thoughts of a life that will never happen were also the ones making me fall asleep easily.

  I wake up to someone ringing at my door. Opening the door, I look into the face of my neighbor. “I heard you coming home las night, I am very sorry for your loss, Syra. Your mother was a respectable woman and our world lost an angel with her.” He says giving me a bunch of flowers. If this is how my stay in Germany will be, everyone telling me that he is sorry about the death of my mother, I will kill myself. I don’t need anyone to feel sorry for me. What I need is my mother and them being sorry doesn’t help to bring her back to life. “Thank you.” I say although I don’t mean it.

  Normally, I am a loner. I love being all by myself. Most of my time in Germany I spent at school or at work and outside in the nature, sitting down by the lake next to our village or on the fields. The nature surrounding my village is stunning. You can spend hour walking around and you will still be able to discover new parts of it. Even at night I am not afraid to walk around.

  Tae somehow changed this fact about me, he wrapped me around his finger and I got addicted to his presence. I already miss him, what remembers me to text him. It is 11 AM here so it should be around 6 PM back in South Korea. ‘Annyeonghaseyo :) I am awake now and already missing you. Don’t forget about our video call later! I love you <3’. Yes, he definitely changed me. I am not a loner anymore. He and I are a team now. Luckily no one noticed him at the airport, I couldn’t handle all the drama again.