Falling Apart | k.th (Complete)

Fake

“I shouted but turned away from my conscience
I feel the sharp reality more every day
There’s red blood from being torn apart by reality”
-Boy meets evil

  My life seems rather like a dream to me. I will be promoted at work. I am in love with an Idol. How can this be my life? I was so ordinary. Just a random girl, spending her boring life going to school daily and reading books at home. I never intended to become something special in this world, but with Tae by my side, I am something special. I am the girl who is ‘just a friend’ of him to the world but to his friends and family I am known as the love of his life. I cannot believe it myself but it seems to be my dreamlike reality.

  Today we fly to Tokyo together. Normally I have 2 days left until the seminar starts but he wanted me to fly with them so I can spend a few days with him until I have to work the whole day. He wants us to spend as much time as possible before we tell the world about our relationship. He is afraid that there will be no time to spend alone anymore after we release our secret. Namjoon said that every TV show wants to interview me, the one who stole Kim Taehyung’s heart. They want to know everything about me, my past, my future, my present. They want to know how we got to know each other and they want to know why he chose exactly me and how my life changed since I started dating an Idol. So many details about my life that even I cannot answer.

  “Is everything alright, Jagiya?” He always worries about me and he can read my face like no one else can, so he can say when I am worrying about something. “I just think a lot since we decided to go public soon. I am not afraid of it. But I am afraid I cannot get comfortable with the idea of everyone knowing everything about me.”

  “I will be there to comfort you. You don’t have to show them everything about you, just the things you want. We will make it, Jagiya. We will be together. Always.” Again only he is able to calm me down. He takes my hand and squishes it.

  I look out of the window, down to the ground. Everything seems so small from up here. All the worries down there are small. Just as small as me. I am just a small speck of dust within the galaxy. I mean nothing to this world down there. But my boyfriend does. He means a lot to a lot of people. Him being hurt would affect a whole generation out there. I could die and only a few people would care and as soon as we release our relationship there are a lot of people who would be happy to see me dying. I will be hated by a whole generation who loves my boyfriend.

  I look over to Tae again. He is observing me with his eyes. “You are still worrying. What can I do to stop this?” He has those eyes you need to love. The eyes of a guilty puppy that hopes he doesn’t get punished. “Stop putting the weight on your shoulders, Tae. Everything that will happen won’t be your fault. And maybe, all of my worries are just worries. No one knows if they will be our reality. I hope they are not.”

  “I want you to smile” He says and cups my left cheek with his right hand, holding my hands with the left one without any intention of letting go of it. “Saranghae, Jagiya.” His glace is so straight that I get goosebumps. “I love you too, Jagiya.” Right after I finished my sentence he slowly moves closer and starts kissing me. His kisses are always so gentle but passionate.

  Letting go of the kiss, he looks into my eyes again. “Maybe you just need some rest.” He symbolizes me to rest my head on his shoulder. To sit more comfortable, I lay my legs on is lab and let my feet block the way next to his seat. I fall asleep, relaxing a bit more with every breath he takes.

  As I wake up I find myself in Tae’s arms. He hasn’t woken me up to leave the plane, he carried me out there. “Sorry. I wasn’t careful enough and your feet hit the wall and you woke up. I didn’t want to wake you up. You looked so peaceful.” What have I done in my life to deserve this angel? “It is OK. I haven’t asked you to carry me so don’t worry. Will you let me down now?” I look at him and he shakes his head. “I don’t want to but I need to. There are a lot of fans waiting outside. You will go through another exit.” Yes, the hide game again. When they see me with him the rumors are getting on and we want them to stop, although they are true. “And you will pick me up there?” I look at him and can see the sorrow of these situations in his eyes. “Yes we will pick you up there.”