Falling Apart | k.th (Complete)

Tokyo

“As time passes by
We only mess it up even more
No way, no way, it’s collapsing again”
-House of cards

  Four weeks ago we came back to South Korea and everything seems to be pretty good since then. Tae hat a break in his schedule so we were able to meet more often, we visited many places and also travelled to New York because he knows how bad I wanted to go to there once in my life.

  At work everyone seems to accept me. They are all OK with the fact that I rather want to work from home than to sit in the office all day. I also got promoted and I am not Amy’s assistant anymore, she is kind of angry at my for this but did she expect me to always be her assistant?

  Finally it seems like my life is relaxing. It seems like I have found my way. I thought I was through with the drama that lays behind me and Tae and that we can finally be together in peace… but some of his fans still don’t accept me. They don’t believe that I am “Just a friend” and every time we don’t pay enough attention someone takes a picture of us, luckily we never looked like a couple on these. But anyway, the rumors still spread around. We are pretty good at ignoring it and all the consequences and we both know that someday, when we both know for sure if we will stay together or if we will break up, that we need to tell the world that we are a couple.

  I am still afraid of this day. I cannot imagine how it will be to be known to the whole world for “steeling” the cutest human being on earth. I am afraid of sasaengs. I am afraid of the jealousy of the fans and the greed. I already know that they will to their best to break us apart. But the thing I am most afraid of is that he breaks up with me because they don’t accept me. He loves his fans and he knows he would never stand where he does without them. So I don’t think he would risk the relationship to his fans because of a random girl he met at an airport.

  But as long as we are together, I enjoy it. He is the best that ever happened to me. Every time I am down he pulls me up again and shows me the good things about life. Sometimes only his smile is enough to brighten up my day. He always sends me funny pictures of him while he is at practice or I am at work and I love it. I could look at him the whole day.

¤¤¤¤¤

  Today I need to come to the office again. That means walking past Amy’s questioning face. She is different from the day I went to Germany. Something about her has changed but I cannot say what. It is not only the fact that I got promoted and she doesn’t know but our boss says he likes my work more than hers. But this isn’t the thing about her, we already talked about it. She is much distanced since I came back. She stopped asking me to go out with her or to visit shows.

  “Where are you going, Syra?” she asks like she would be my mother. It is strange.

  “I am going to the office. Am I allowed to, my queen?” I replied in a sarcastic way. She gets annoyed by my sarcasm fast so every time she annoys me I get sarcastic to annoy her too.

  “Stop it. I am just curious.” She is always looking for an excuse to ask me where I am going. Sometimes she scares me. I would move out if I earned enough money to live alone, but living here is expensive.

  Arriving at work is still like being there for the first time. I don’t know anyone who is working there by name, I can recognize the faces but my brain has no names to them. “Miss Lia, there you are. I need to talk to you.” My boss said on my way to the lift. “You need to talk to me? About what?” Our relationship isn’t that awkward like I the one I had with my old boss. He was very strict but Mister Lee is relaxed. “Yeah. I have got a surprise for you. Come to my office after you brought your stuff to yours.”