U Done Lost Ur Dam Mind

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Looking at Zoe he's calmed down and sleeping. Sliding from under him I grab my phone. Powering it back on seeing I have allot of missed calls and messages.

Calling Tru

"Hello"

"Hey baby sorry I didn't call you. I took the kids to the lake house so they could swim. They were so tired so we ended up staying here"

"Ok when are y'all coming back?"

"Probably tomorrow after noon"

"Iight,kiss then and tell them I love them."

"Iight baby,aye stay clear from Zoe he's not his self lately. Dam my phone is dieing. I love you"

Click

Blowing out a breath. I begin to look up doctors.

I feel his presence before I see him. He walks in with his head down.

"Can we talk?"

"Uh yeah, we need to"

"I want to start off saying I'm sorry. I can't remember but bits and pieces. But I know I hurt you. I never want to do that. I've been keeping this away from you because I was scared you would walk away like every body else. I take medication,I struggle with different personalities disorder there's more like my anger, insecurities,etc. I've haven't been taking my meds. I hate how they make me feel."

I look at for a second

"Alfonzoe you do understand you could have came to me. You make me feel like you don't trust me. You've been there for me, you looked for me without giving up. Why would you feel I wouldn't be there for you? I'm not mad but I'm hurt. I thought we were better than that. Ok your crazy so fucking what. I am to, all y'all are fucking crazy I guess that is what brings me to you all differently but same. Tomorrow morning you are going to the institution. Your going to get help"

He stands up throwing the chair back with him.

"So you giving up on me! You just gone leave me with those crazy people and say fuck me?"

He stands in my face when I stand up.

"Zoe it's not even like that, and you know it. Your just trying to make excuses why you shouldn't go. You know dam well nobody is giving up on you. She don't you ever come in my face like that unless you want to fucking fight. The fuck is wrong with you? You done lost your dam mind"

We stand there for a moment mugging each other breathing heavy from our anger. He grabs me forcefully bringing me in a demanding kiss. Jumping on him wrapping my legs around his waist. He takes me the room, let's just say we had some angry make up sex.

All are aggression was let out. When have had enough we lay there sweaty cuddled up to eachother.

"You know I love you? I'm only doing this for you and the kids. I don't want to hurt anybody and I don't want to push you away again. I went crazy man fucked up the house when I couldn't find you. Tru told Scar not to come here. I've been going through it man"

"I'm sorry if I haven't been here for you. I truly am"

"It wasn't you, it's me. Even if you tried to be here I wouldn't have let you"

He grabs my arm looking at the purple bruise. Then my neck

"Shut up don't tell me your sorry anymore just do better"

"Ok"

He falls asleep while I stay awake the entire night.

4 o'clock hits I get up to start my workout. My head isn't in it. When I get back to the house Zoe is at the table.

"Calì... RUN!!!"

I'm caught I don't know what to do. My mind is saying bitch run but my body won't move.

He gets up balling and unballing his fist. He grabs his dreads trying to control himself

"Zoe baby your not your self. Come on baby get a grip"

I walk to touch him but his reflex is to protect himself. He slaps me bringing blood to my face. I pay it no mind. He pins me down to the ground. I start boxing him in his face. I don't want to because I know he is sick but I'm not dieing.

His hands make it to my throat.

"You gone leave me Calì huh huh"

"Man what the fuck!"

I'm seeing black dots in my vision. I can't hear what's going on around me. Zoe is thrown off me.

Ron is holding him back from me

"Baby talk to me you good? Baby"

Taking gulps of air. My vision comes back in to place. But my breath is still coming out short.

I look over to Zoe that locks eyes with me. Tru is on the phone with the people to pick him up. 30 minutes later no one has moved from there spot. Two buff men walk in grabbing Zoe. He begins trying to fight.

"Let me talk to Calì"

Tru grabs me shaking his head no. I snatch from his grip.

"Dam it Calì"

Making my way to Zoe he looks at me before he can say something I slap him making his lip bust.

"I love you Zoe,I need you to get better before you come back. I'm not giving up on you I'll be there the entire way. You my nigga but this right here is a person I don't know. I'll come see you soon.

Kissing him passionly before kissing his forehead.

"No more sorrys, just get better. I promise you that ma. I put that on my life. I gotta get right and I'mma get my help that I need. You deserve that. I love you. Don't forget about a nigga"

"Never"

He snatchs away from the two men before walking to the van. Tru grabs me in a hug. I stand there for a moment before removing myself.

"I just want to be alone right now. Respect that"

He kisses me before letting me walk away. How did I get here?

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