I Told You, I'm A Monster

Chapter Eighteen

Namjoon jolts awake after having a nightmare. In it, he slit Seokjin's throat and then raped him until he died. Just like what he used to do to his female victims. Shocked, he looks down to see his dick standing full and hard underneath his thin blanket. “What the hell? No, this can't be happening.” He clenches his eyes shut and calls to mind the images of the day before, of Seokjin's warm, smooth skin, the sexually alive look on his face, the way he moved and writhed underneath him. After a few moments, the images of killing and raping his doctor fade away, and he cautiously opens his eyes to see that the faintest rays of light are beginning to stream in through the window and his dick is still painfully hard.

He has at least an hour before anyone will come to check on him, so he decides to lie back and take care of his little (or rather, not so little) problem. The second he closes his eyes again though, he sees Seokjin in front of him, and blood is pouring from his throat. Namjoon immediately opens his eyes again and groans in frustration.

He doesn't want to be having these images. He doesn't want Seokjin to die, especially by his hand. He only has female victims, and he's never killed a man before.

Not only that, but he has feelings for Seokjin that he's never had for anyone else before. He feels an urge to protect the older, which should be the other way around, considering Seokjin is his doctor.

'Could I be trying to protect him from myself?'

'No, if I were doing that then I wouldn't have fucked him.

'Why did I fuck him anyway?'

'Because he's a beautiful human being, inside and out. He cares about me, and he actually wanted me to fuck him.'

'And there lies the difference. I've never had sex with anyone who wanted me before.'

'So what? He's caring, but why shouldn't he die just like all those women?'

'Because he's just special!'

Namjoon growls in frustration and firmly grasps his head between his hands to shut out the inner voices. He doesn't have to explain himself to anyone. Seokjin is his, and Seokjin is special. He doesn't want to kill him. He will not kill him.

If he's so settled in his resolve, though, why do images of a dead Seokjin keep flashing through his mind? And furthermore, why does Namjoon not try as hard to make them go away?

'Just admit it. You want him dead, just like you wanted all the others dead.'

'No, I don't! The images are just too strong.'

'There's a reason for that, Namjoon.'

“Damn it shut up!” He growls softly. He needs to see Seokjin again so he can talk to him about this. Glancing at the clock, he sees that he has two more hours to wait. He can do this. He has to.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

When Jimin finally regains consciousness, he's in his own bed, fully clothed, and lying on his back with almost no recollection of what had happened the day before. Jungkook is staring out the window at the sparrows building their nest. “Jungkook?” Jimin rasps out, frowning at the sound of his voice. “What happened?”

Slowly, Jungkook turns and wheels himself to the side of Jimin's bed, the corners of his mouth twitching a little. “I fucked you, and I choked you so hard you passed out. You came really hard, and when I came, I was too enraptured to notice I was completely cutting off your air supply. Sorry, hyung.”

Jimin's eyes widen, and his hand subconsciously rubs at his tender throat, sending a shiver down his spine. “I-it's okay, Jungkook-ah. I guess you redressed me and put me in bed too?” Jungkook nods, and Jimin reaches out to squeeze his hand. “Thank you.”