🥝Harry Styles Imagines🥝

Depression

Warning this does contain some touchy subjects such as cutting and depression so if your not comfortable with reading this then please just skip over it⚠️
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Harry and you had been dating for 4-5 months now and you both were crazy about each other. You both had so much in common and spent all of your time together. For you it was great to finally have someone care about you and that was something you weren't use to. Everything about the realtionship was going good, but one thing that you couldn't deal with was the hate from Harry's fans and hate from the media. Everyday you logged on your Instagram or twitter and there was always death threats and hate comments. One thing Harry didn't know about you was that a year ago you were in a deep depression and for years it had been an on going battle. A lot of the depression came from self hate, lack of emotion or the lack to care, and the feeling of being alone.You had no one and felt like the world had nothing to offer you but pain so in return you started cutting. Once you got help and started getting better you quit the habit and haven't done it ever since, but dealing with comments like the ones on your social media were definitely testing you. The test was almost like a recovering alcoholic going to a bar and for you that's how it felt.

You laid in your bed scrolling through your twitter, "she's such an ugly bitch", "she's only with him for money", "she's cheated on him like 4 times", "what a slut". The list went on but as you kept reading the water in your eyes started to fill up, "maybe she should just end her life she'd be better off", "I'd pay someone to kill her", "Worthless whore".

You felt sick to your stomach running to the bathroom closing the door behind you. Sitting down on the floor next to the toilet you tried to control your breathing. You felt yourself having an anxiety attack as you started having no control of your heavy breathing. "How could people say such disgusting things" you thought to yourself

Tears filled your eyes as you felt the hot tears roll down your face as you felt a weird sensation in your stomach. This familiar feeling you've felt many times before was the urge to cut.

"No no no" you said to yourself. All the progress you've had you can't go back you thought to yourself crying your eyes out. The more you thought the more blurry your vision got and the more you gave in. Grabbing the razor from the shower you took the blade off. Sitting down in the tub you rolled your sleeve up with tears rolling down your red cheeks, tears you no longer had control of.

"This is what you deserve" you whisper to yourself before making the first cut with very shaky hands

All of your past feelings came back, all of the pain you felt resurfaced, and everything you had went through flashed before your eyes.

"This is for not being good enough" you say making the second cut crying louder at the feeling of pain coming from your now bleeding wrist. You were sure at this point Harry could hear you but you didn't care.

"This is for being worthless" you cry out to yourself making the third cut feeling numb to everything. With every cut it got deeper and it was a familiar feeling that soothed the pain that was in your heart, a pain that you felt like no one could fix.

"Worthless" you whispered to yourself before hearing a voice

"Y/F/N what are you doing" Harry says knocking before opening the door, Fuck you forgot to lock the door. "Y/F/N WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING" Harry yells running over towards you. Taking the blade from your shaking hands he panics

"WHAT DID YOU DO" Harry asked panicking getting towels to stop the bleeding. You were in shock and didn't say anything, what could you say that would make the situation better...... nothing

"Talk to me Y/F/N please" harry says shaking you out of your shock state.

"I can't keep pretending like I'm okay with what people are saying about me, maybe their right maybe im not good enough. I don't think I'll ever be good enough harry.......... I'm so sorry" you say as more hot tears run down you face

"Im nothing...... I'm worthless..I'm so sorry Harry I'm so sorry" you say as Harry takes you in his lap holding you

"Shhhhhhh" harry says rocking you back and forth

"How do I make the pain go away" you cry into Harry's chest

"Y/F/N look at me, you will always be good enough, no matter what anyone says you will always be good enough. You are an angel living in a world full of terrible people but please don't give up your life and force me to live in a world without you. Please don't give me that option" harry says with a tear rolling down his face.

Holding you tighter than he ever has before you just laid there crying in his arms until you fell asleep.