Mah frickin spoofs

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"Don't be ridiculous, Hawk," a black tom spat on the ground as a dark brown tom suggested that they join a different Clan. "We don't want to become their friends." He spat at the tom called Hawk.
"No, I'm implying that we should join them, learn their skills, techniques, what times they set out patrols, and kill off the clan one by one," Hawk kneaded his claws in the dirt. He wanted revenge on Tanstripe for what he did ages ago. So did all the other cats that lived inside the camp. They all wanted revenge on different Clans.
"All cats that are old enough to kill, gather beneath the Bone Pile!" the blacks tom's yowl sounded through camp.
Cats streamed out of cracks and crannies, old and young, tall and tiny, all banding together to form some kind of Clan meeting.
"Today, we will celebrate the coming of a new Killer! Nightfoot, step forward. Today, Nightfoot will now be known as Night, Killer of the Stars. We welcome you with much pride in your decision." the black tom licked Night on the ears. "Don't let me down, Night," he whispered. "I won't, Tar."
( everything past this point never happens in the actual story, it's just there for comical relief)

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"Blitzpaw, you slow-poke! Even the elders are faster than you!" Lilypaw calls as she bounds near the entrance to camp

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"Blitzpaw, you slow-poke! Even the elders are faster than you!" Lilypaw calls as she bounds near the entrance to camp. "Hey! We're not that old!" She giggles as one of the elders, supposedly Mossfur, calls out from somewhere inside camp.
Blitzpaw literally explodes laughing, his tail waving shaking in the air.
"We still have to put this prey on the pile, mouse-brain!" Lilypaw muffled around a squirrel she had just picked up. "Yeah, yeah. And we have to get the prey there A right now," Blitzpaw says, sarcasm literally spelled out in his whiskers.
Lilypaw pinched her face. She didn't know how to react to this side of Blitzpaw.

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"Oakpaw, you stupid furball!" Springleaf is firing off insults left and right while Oakpaw ignores them and yawns

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"Oakpaw, you stupid furball!" Springleaf is firing off insults left and right while Oakpaw ignores them and yawns. Shaking his head he says casually "Who put ants in your nest?"
Springleaf then murders Oakpaw and hides him in the stream, like someone we know (*cough* Hollyleaf *cough*)

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Willowpaw sighed and walked into camp, bored and hungry

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Willowpaw sighed and walked into camp, bored and hungry. She notices Oakpaw limping into the camp behind her, a mix between fear and uneasiness on his face.
She then realized that Darkpaw was the killer, dismissing that Tarpaw was still lurking around the forest looking for revenge.

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Hollypaw is walking around one day, but then she heard that Tarwhisker had left LeapClan

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Hollypaw is walking around one day, but then she heard that Tarwhisker had left LeapClan.
It must be because Darkpaw is an annoying furball.

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"First, you must acquire a twoleg chainsaw, and while you're turning it on, explode and let it rip!" Kinkface was giving Pepperpaw instructions on how to murder thousands of cats at once and how to self-destruct

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"First, you must acquire a twoleg chainsaw, and while you're turning it on, explode and let it rip!" Kinkface was giving Pepperpaw instructions on how to murder thousands of cats at once and how to self-destruct.

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"No no, like this!" Pinefrost jumps in the air, tells "THIS IS YOUR DOOM" and explodes, splattering all her blood across Sunpaw's frightened face

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"No no, like this!" Pinefrost jumps in the air, tells "THIS IS YOUR DOOM" and explodes, splattering all her blood across Sunpaw's frightened face.

Well, I hope you liked that collection of thing that never happened. There will be more stuff like this when I'm too lazy to write more about this stuff

Love,
Bethany/LilAngel

This was a half chapter ranking to be 525 words

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