My Mute Mate

Chapter Four

As soon as it left my lips I was snapped out of the trance. Both my hands unfroze from my sides and whipped up to cover my mouth. My eyes where as wide as buttons, filled with shock and aghast. My feet stumbled back as my head thrashed from side to side. Without another word I turned around and ran as fast and hard as my feet could carry me. The hallways were deserted, only a few teachers remaining in their offices and doing nothing but grading or making up tests and quizzes. None of them seemed to be bothered by my drastic exit or attempt to one.

I was stunned and disappointed in myself. Two years I've gone without talking, without uttering a sound or word. Today was the end, the end of my days. If my father even heard a whiff of what happened just seconds before, I wouldn't have the chance of choosing whether to speak or not. Tears were on the verge of spilling over, threatening to break all the promises I've made to myself in the past. Both the ability to speak and cry where the two of the many I swore to give up, thinking as well as knowing there wouldn't ever be a time that could force me to go against these promises. But now I have and right now makes it feel as though there isn't any greater shame.

"Hey, stop!" a deep, husky voice called out that sent strange shivers down my vertebrae.

My body came to a immediate halt, my feet stopped all possible movement. I pulled my eyebrows  together into a scowl, scrunching them into one. Why did I stop? I pursed my lips against one another and for some odd and unspoken reason I was having trouble deciding whether to keep going or to stay rooted into place. Its was a strange reason, but it felt as though if I moved I would be going against something that had a strong grip on me that I couldn't seem to shake. But when I stayed where I was, I was granted with an eerily calm that seemed to ease that iron grasp.

"Hey." I turned around and faced where the source of the voice was coming from, the scowl still evident on the surface. The spell seemed to be lifted, the invisible force willing my feet to stay grounded gone.. dissipated in an instant. The guy. The one who got me to talk was standing right in front of me with nothing but concern swirling in his eyes as he tried to look into mine. "What's the matter my Lilly?" he asked, worrisome lacing his words.

I faltered back, reeling from the fact that he knew my name and along with the naked truth that I told him it myself. I had to resist the urge to ask him who he was and what right did he think he had to compel me into doing something I swore not to years ago. But I bit down on my tongue and my eye began to twitch as I felt anger start to boil up inside of me. The last time I felt feels such as strongly as theses, anger, was before this hell of mine began.

My chest began to rise more briskly as my breaths came out ragged and I had to fight off the words itching their way up my throat as though begging to be released. I had to keep from looking into his eyes, not wanting to risk being entrapped by his icy blue orbs. Just the thought of them had my mind wandering and for one split moment I was distracted from the events I found myself caught in. But I shook off the reflections on earlier affairs and focused on the matters at hand. I couldn't let thoughts such as those clog my mind and distract me.

I flicked my eyes up just in time to be able to see the different emotions projecting inside his eyes. Confusion covered his features and his hand reached out as though to to touch my arm as his mouth opened to say something. I snaked back and held up my hand, whilst shaking my head no before he had the chance to do either. "But Li-" I stopped him before he was apt to continue what ever he was thinking to say by piercing him with a glare. I couln't bare to hear my name from his lips again, not now and I'm starting to think not ever.

A sigh released from my lips as I got the feeling he wasn't going to be very willing to let go of whatever this was but now just now wasn't a time I was up to dealing with it. So I took a deep breath and closed my eyes briefly before looking up and meeting his eyes. I gulped down the saliva that had built up in the back of my throat in advance of licking my lips and ever so slightly parting them. I knew this was something I had to do but that didn't mean it didn't hurt nonetheless.

"Please.." I said, just above a whisper. I allowed myself to look deep within his gaze as well as let the tears arise once again and glaze over my grey colored irises. I watched as the fight within him slowly diminish and his stance softened. He sucked in a deep breath before giving a curt nod that had me giving a small smile in return. As I walked a good ten feet distance and was about to turn the corner to the front entrance of the school I was stopped by his voice once again.

"Wait," he called out, "You don't even know my name."

I only to some extent turned my head an looked back to the direction I had come from, lingering to hear his remaining statement. For some sundry reason I was anxious to hear what he was to say, a small part of me jumping with delight at the way I knew his gaze was glued to the back of my head, weighing on me. But.. in a strangely good way. I couldn't comprehend why I was feeling this way about someone I was furious with only moments before, and still, god only knows why I'm..

I shook my head and tried to rid myself of the thoughts creeping within my mind. The last time something of such had entered the realm of my conscious was before any of the past events occurred. When I was dragged back to reality and left blushing and ducking my head when I noticed him looking at me intently. I sneaked in a glance and found his eyes were downcast and a small smile played on his lips, almost regarding as being triumph.

Clearing my throat I snapped him out of the abstraction he looked to be entangled in and tucked the piece of hair that fallen into my eyes behind my left ear. "Travis." he said, "Travis Johnson." I let a small smile play on my lips but pursued them together after only a few heart beats had passed. I lowered my head and made my way outside, down the steps and through the somewhat empty parking lot. I gripped the straps of my leather book bag and started the long journey home with one thing echoing in my mind.

Travis.. Travis.. Travis..

 

I thought of how blue his eyes were an black the locks of his hair looked, like the night sky when all the stars came out and lights up the world beneath it. My mind kept circling around our encounter and what happened between us. But.. all those thoughts that were bring a smile to my face suddenly slipped away, as though quick sand seeping through my fingers. No way to re-grasp those memories as my gaze laid upon what stood before me.

Here I was, standing at the bottom of the steps that led to my own personal hell. I gulped when I saw the lights turned on, glowing in the windows and peaking through the openings of the curtains. I sucked in a deep breath and made the all too short trek up the steps that felt as though they should creak beneath my feet just like in any other horror filled movies.

My fingers curled around the front door handle knowing it would be unlocked and awaiting my arrival. I breathed in and released a shaky breath as I readied myself for the events I knew would only add to the pile of scaring remembrances. I closed my eyes before reopening them and holding my head high, suppressing the emotions that were looming to arise. Then, ignoring the shaking of my hand, I slowly turned the handle and faced my excuse of a reality.