Hold My Hand [boyxboy]

15:Of The Final Masquerade

Thomas's p.o.v.
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"You what?"

"I lo-"

"Say it!"

"I LOATHE YOU SO MUCH"

"And I wanna fucking kiss you so much" I said, feeling every nerve inside me wanting to push me towards him, yet every muscle inside is pulling away.

I can't touch him.

Maybe that's why I wanna touch him so bad?

"Well you can't" he said with a voice lacking all emotion, yet everything else in him was screaming my name.

I want you Raiden. I really fucking want you so much. I want you in my arms. I want you in my lips. I want you in my clothes and I want you in my bed.

I want you in my life.

I want you to be in my life.

I want you to be my life.

"I know" I breathed with every letter. I spoke it with breath instead of words.

"Yeah" he said, his voice growing lower by the second. His anger seemed to drop down and it was replaced with something else. Something like pain and struggle.

He was hurting.

We weren't too apart from each other, and at that point there was no need for physical contact for the energy coming out of both our bodies was practically one.

And then a tear trickled down.

Then another.

And another.

Like the beginning of the first rain on a warm Tuesday evening. It carried with it everything and flushed it away.

It's much easier to say that I struggled to keep my hand away from wiping off his tears.

He is out of reach.

So close yet out of reach.

"I need to go" he headed towards the door.

"Rai-"

"I. Need. To. Leave." he said, rushing outside the mansion.

<><><><><><><><>

I paced around my room out of boredom and worry.
Usually I read when l'm bored, but I wasn't feeling it today. But it's nothing out of the norm. I always get a little depressed around this time of the year.

Not because of Christmas or anything, I love Christmas. But today marks the 4th year after Rose's death and I only remembered it after Raiden was gone yesterday.

It was like he clouded my mind with nothing but his image.

She was my one and only girlfriend. The only girlfriend l've ever had and she decided to end her life.
I grew more anxious as the day passed. I decided to do it now as there's no point in waiting. So I took a quick shower and put on my clothes. Slightly more formal than usual- Black
of course. When I wanna do things, I either do them perfectly right, or not do them at all.

I went to my mirror which was situated in the corner of my huge bedroom. It was a waste of space, considering l only use a few parts of it. I fixed myself and passed a hand through my hair to make sure it's neat. It looked like it's only
gotten whiter.

I was never one to be beaten by depression, even though what l've been through is sufficient enough to cause mental scars. I kind of absorbed all of it and made it a learning experience. If one was not to learn from their past, then they're living life wrong.