Midnight Desire | MATURE JB

Chapter 21

Chapter 21

"What?" I shouted idiotically. Wait, what had she said?

Chelsea repeated it more emphatically. "I'm on the pill." She smiled serenely.

My brain digested this piece of information while I tried to calm my features, not to mention my pounding heart. The monster, still hiccupping with amusement, produced its embroidered hanky and wiped tears from its eyes.

"How long have you been on the pill?" I asked incredulously. I realized this was pretty much irrelevant, but I was stalling for time now.

Chelsea colored a bit. "A couple of months," she mumbled.

I automatically did the math. "Wasn't that about the time we started dating?" Had she actually been planning this since the beginning?

"I suppose it was, now that I think back," Chelsea replied, her voice deliberately casual. "But birth control wasn't my primary motivation—at least not then."

I stopped myself asking what that reason was, realizing I'd be completely at sea in a minute here. Instead, I turned away and ran a hand through my hair. My strategy was in shambles. The best laid plans had somehow turned into the best plans for getting laid.

"Are you angry with me?" Chelsea asked in a small voice.

"No, of course not, Chelsea. I could never be angry with you." Just because you've completely undermined the last fragile thread of the Plan?

"Then will you tell me what's wrong?" she asked quietly.

As I hemmed and hawed, Chelsea's eyes got wider and began to glisten. Oh shit! The monster looked even more forlorn.

Chelsea turned away from me and faced the window. "I'm sorry, Justin. I thought you'd feel the same way I did—that you would want to make love. I didn't mean to push you. I feel like an idiot."

"Oh dear God," I exhaled in despair. "Of course, I want to make love to you. There's nothing I desire more in the whole world, I assure you."

"Then I don't understand," she responded in confusion, speaking to our reflections in the plate glass.

There was no way around it—the discussion was going to occur here and now. I took a deep breath to calm myself and help organize my thoughts. The monster screamed, this better be good asshole!

I put my hands on Chelsea's shoulders and turned her to face me. I searched her eyes before beginning. "I need to be certain, that is, to make sure that this is really what you want. Making love—losing your virginity—that's forever. It's not something that can be undone. I'm afraid that you'll regret it—that someday you will come to believe that you gave something precious to someone who was...unworthy. I won't do that to you."

"How can you say that? That you're unworthy?" She sounded shocked. Chelsea hesitated for a moment, and then continued when I didn't speak. "Justin, you say that you're sure you want me, is that right?"

"Yes, of course it is.

"You have no doubts about your own feelings?" Chelsea pushed.

"No. None," I admitted truthfully.

"Then why do you think I might come to regret it?"

"I...um..." I faltered. I had no good answer.

"Do you truly believe that you care more for me than I do for you?"

"I don't know. Perhaps," I finished lamely.

"Justin!" The shock was apparent in Chelsea's voice. "How can you say that?"