You Belong With Me- SnowBert

Just Listen

Julians POV- Central City 

I sit up gasping for air, I feel like I have been held under water. My room is still dark so I reach for my phone to check the time.

3:46 am

I lay back down and realize immediately that sleep is out of the question. I roll to my side and stare at the wall for awhile. Might as well get up. I reach back for my phone and see that it is almost dead, weird I know I charged it last night, I unlock it and see that things are different. <y first instinct is to check my messages and I see a lot that I do not remember sending. The messages supposedly from me to Caitlin make me sick. I would never ever say those things like that. 

"Oh but Julian you did."

The demonic voice that I know all too well fills my dark bedroom.

"Those messages are reflecting your deepest desire."

My voice shakes as I answer.

"You were defeated, you don't own me anymore. You don't control me."

"Silly naive boy, thinks that a force like me can be so easily defeated. I never left you Julian. I only waited till you showed your true self."

"STAY AWAY FROM ME!"

"Julian, you yourself realized that you are too weak to save Caitlin. You called out to me, and I came."

"No, I won't be you ever again."

"Too late, take a good look at yourself in the mirror."

I look at my reflection and that demons voice emits from my mouth and fills the room again.

"You see you are the one who is talking, you have already turned. Your compassion for Caitlin blinded you. Your pathetic little responses to me, is all in your head. A prisoner in your own mind. Don't worry I'll put on a good facade for your friends, they will believe that you're still you."

The next thing I know I am at S.T.A.R labs, Barry and Cisco are talking to HR and I don't see Joe. I scream at them to warn them but as always to no avail. In my mind Alchemy laughs he enjoys my pain. He enjoys masquerading as me.

I seemed to have interrupted a serious conversation and all of them look embarrassed.

"Hey, Allen find anything about Caitlin's where abouts?" 

"Oh hey Julian."

Barry shifts uncomfortably and looks at Cisco.

"Julian, listen. We have been talking about it and we decided to let her go. She needs time and space right now."

"Are you joking? You're letting her go?"

This time it's Cisco who responds

"Look, we're worried about her as well, more than you okay? We're her closets friends and the closes thing she has to a loving family. But right now if we go after she'll just run away again and disappear again. So yes, we're letting her go."

Cisco crosses his arms and turns his back to me.

"Listen Cisco, Barry, if you're not going to help. Then I will."

I turn around and start heading for the door and Barry yells after me.

"Julian, just listen! Caitlin does't want us, okay she doesn't need you-  

Then everything goes black, I don't remember much, Alchemy only lets me see bits and pieces. Mostly when he talks to Barry and Cisco, when he tortured the poor soul who sold Caitlin her ticket to find out where she went he tells me later that he already knows, that he watched her leaving but he did this for my benefit to show me what I became when I chose Caitlin.