worst ; gawsten

seven

it's been a while whoops

not too bad trigger-wise - aws and geoff both get kinda panicky though

"You are the biggest moron on the fucking planet."

It feels like all the breath has been knocked out of his body. He tries to inhale but sucks in air too fast and ends up coughing. He brings a hand to his chest and winces. "What the fuck?"

Otto stares at him. "You seriously don't remember anything, do you?"

"Fucking hell," he snaps. "No, okay? No. Can you just tell me what I did? I'm sick of playing this fuckin' guessing game. I don't remember and I'm not gonna remember so just tell me!"

Otto's voice is scarily quiet when he speaks next, monotone. "Do you remember a few weeks ago? The one thing I told you not to say?"

He stops.

"Oh my god..."

"You told him. You loved him," Otto grounds out through gritted teeth. "Wanna know why he's been even more of a mess? You fuckin' drunk-confessed your stupid fucking feelings and he doesn't know what to do! He doesn't know how to handle it!"

"Otto-" His heart is racing. His head is spinning. He still doesn't remember he doesn't know what he said or how he said it or what Awsten's immediate reaction is it's all a blur. He can vaguely recall having a conversation with Awsten right outside their bus. It gets fuzzy after that. He remembers being shoved into his bunk. His side still hurts from how hard he hit the edge of it. "I don't, I can't, fuck I..."

"You know how Awsten gets, you know how bad his anxiety is..." Otto says, shaking his head. "He doesn't know what to do, Geoff. This is too much for him. I told you it would be. He can't process it. He's still tryna get through everything she did, and now this? He's freakin' out."

"I don't..." Geoff trails off. His stomach is twisting in on itself. A balloon of nausea is forming in the middle, slowly increasing in size as he realizes Awsten knows he knows he knows he fucking knows. It's getting bigger and bigger, about to pop. His mind is going a mile a minute. It feels like all the air in the room was sucked out. His throat is closing. He brings a hand to his neck and chokes out a raspy cough that tears up his esophagus.

"Geoff? Shit, hey, you gotta breathe. C'mon, with me." A pair of hands grab his shoulders. Otto kneels in front of him. He's blurry. The edges of Geoff's vision are fuzzy and slightly blackened. "Breathe. C'mon. In." Otto exaggerates a deep breath, leaning up slightly to project his chest expanding. "And out." He exhales and repeats it once, twice, until Geoff feels his own breathing start to slow down.

He feels foggy, like he's floating in midair. He can see and hear what's going on but it's not registering. "I, um...sorry..."

"Don't worry about it," Otto replies. "You okay?"

"Tired."

"I know." Otto leans forward and opens the fridge. He grabs a bottle of water and holds it out in front of Geoff. Geoff stares at it. His body is heavy. He feels like slumping into the couch and closing his eyes. It's that groggy, disoriented state, when everything is fuzzy and the only thing on your mind is sleep. "Shit, here." Otto unscrews the cap and hands him the bottle. "Drink. Hydrate. And you can probably get a nap in before we head out."

"What are we..." He trails off again, shaking his head. He knows what he wants to say but his mouth isn't cooperating. Every action feels excessive. Moving his lips didn't seem like a task until now. "Doing..."