Unedited: Because perfection is just an illusion.

Chapter 3

And then bell rang, signifying my least favorite part of the day.

Dispersal. School was over. That means I have to go home.

I awkwardly loitered around the lockers delaying the inevitable. But I can't push it too far, otherwise I won't make it home early enough for me to lock myself up in my room before my sister is home. I looked at the time and panicked. I rushed home as fast as humanly possible praying I wasn't too late. But, luck can never be on my side when it comes to family.

I paled at the sight of Dominique's motorbike parked at the driveway.

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuuuuuuuuuck." I muttered to myself. I opened the door softly and prepared to tiptoe upto my room when my sister turned to me.

"Hey buttercup, why you late from school?" she said walking towards me.

I looked down and didn't respond, too scared to do anything that might provoke her.

She walked closer and closer. Before I knew it, I was pushed up against the wall, her face so close her breath was fanning my face. She caged my face with her arms.

I visibly gulped.

"Oh honey, don't worry. I'll be real gentle." she said and softly took my lips in hers. She started getting more and more insistent as I refused to respond. She bit my lip until I gasped in pain, she took that as an opening to shove her tongue into my mouth.

She took her hands of the wall and started to move it up to my waist and started to feel me up. She soon pulled away.

"You're beautiful, you know." She said.

I took advantage of the temporary gap and pushed her off me.

She smirked and let me go. I pushed past her and ran into my room before she could change her mind. I locked the door behind me, leaned against the closed door and sank to the floor. I shut my eyes tightly to prevent the tears from spilling.

I felt disgusting. I felt dirty. I had the irresistible urge to cut. I repressed it and stripped all my clothes off. I took a long shower scrubbing my body like crazy as if that would somehow erase the last hour. I hated feeling so helpless against her.

As I dried myself off, I realized I had left my backpack outside. That backpack had my notebook. I know I couldn't stay in my room without my notebook. Writing was my only distraction from the urge to cut. I didn't want to go back outside. I looked back at my razor. I looked at the door.

The tears that I had managed to repress earlier came flowing out and there was nothing I could do to stop them. Before I could really comprehend what I was doing, I grabbed my razor and started making cuts over the same scars that I never let heal. I jolted to my senses and threw the razor to the ground as far away from me as I could. And washed off the blood.

'It's okay. It's okay. That's not too bad. They're only shallow cuts. Just take deep breaths.' I told myself.

I relapsed. It wasn't a bad one. But, I immediately felt a crushing sense of regret.

"Mom and dad are coming in an hour." Dominique called from outside.

I heaved a sigh of relief. Just an hour for my step-mum to come home. Dom wouldn't dare to do anything to me in front of her. I suspected that my stepmother knew all about the shit that she has been doing to me but just didn't bother do anything. She witnesses my dad's physical abuse with a completely detached expression on her face. My dad would never touch Dom, though.

It scares me that I'm forced to be so dependent on my stepmom, Victoria, someone who cares so little about me.

Fuck, I just really miss my mom and it was very evident that my dad doesn't and I'm not prepared to give a fuck about my sorry excuse of a family.

***

Okay. So I shall be on a semi hiatus. I have my exams and my WiFi priveleges have been taken away from me for the rest of the week. 

And yeah. 

Well life mildly sucks right now and writing is literally the only thing keeping me alive. So here you go another chapter, I guess. ❤

Oh and vote and comment and stuff.