South Park X Reader one shots {DISCONTINUED}

Stan x BMC! Reader P1(?)

Songfic - from Be More Chill; More than survive
ENJOY!

"C-c-c c'mon, c-c-c- c'mon
Go, go...C-c-c c'mon, c-c-c- c'mon
Go, go!"

I'm waiting for my porno to load, my brain is gonna freakin' explode, and now, of course, it's time to hit the road.

Which means I'll be uncomfortable all day.

But that really isn't such a change, if I'm not feeling weird or super strange.
My life would be in utter disarray, 'cause freaking out is my okay!

Good morning time to start the day!

I pulled on my pants and clothes as I headed towards the bathroom. I lifted my shirt to check for any sort of muscles when my dad walked in.

"AH! Dad! A little privacy!?"

"Awe were all men in this house, pretend we're in the army!!"

"Ugh fine just, when I come home PLEASE be wearing pants..."

"TEN HUT!!" My dad salutes as I roll my eyes and walk out of the bathroom.

Should I take a bus or walk instead?

[insert impression of a whale here]

I feel my stomach filling up with dread,
when I get nervous my whole face goes red.

'Dude, weigh the options calmly and be still...' I thought to myself.

A junior on the bus is killer weak,
but if I walk when I arrive I'm gonna straight up reek.

And my boxers will be bunchy and my pits will leak.

Ugh, God, I wish I had the skill
to just be fine and cool and chill!

Suddenly I heard my bus outside, I tried to catch it but unfortunately I missed it as it drove away. I feel myself sigh.

I don't wanna be a hero,
Just wanna stay in the line,
I'll never be your Rob DeNiro,
For me Joe Pesci is fine,
So I follow my own rules,
And I use them as my tools,
To stay alive,
I don't wanna be special, no, no,
I just wanna survive!

I walked through the crowd of students as I find the most popular girls in South Park High. Red, Wendy, and Heidi, I decided to overhear their conversation.

"So Red said that Bebe told Clyde, 'I'll only have sex with you if you beat me at pool,' and then she lost at pool, deliberately." Heidi gossiped to the other two.

"That is so awesome!" Wendy said happily.

"Wendy!!"

"I-I mean slutty!!" She corrected herself.

"And then Bebe was all like..."

"I'm telling the story, Red!"Heidi interrupted as they all glance in my direction. I jump and keep walking faster.

"Oh my God, he's like totally getting off on that...Ugh."

I feel a small figure bump into me as I look down and see a pissed off Kenny. We used to be friends but now he's with the popular people...

"Yo, don't touch me, tall ass!" He threatens pumping his fist.

"Sorry, I was just trying to get to.."

"Wait, turn around, and DON'T. MOVE." He pulls out a marker and writes something on my backpack. I heard a snicker before he spoke again.

"Wash that off...and you're dead!" Just then he lets go as I walk away as fast as possible.