My Sister's Keeper

10

I've been planning out an outline for this story. I've got big plans... ;)

The first question I ask when something bad happens is: how did I get here? How did things shift from being so good to so bad? How is it even possible? How do you pick yourself up off the ground when you just feel like you want to disappear? After some time curled up on the bathroom floor, I realized that life will go on regardless. You need to forgive in order to forget. Even if they blame you. Even if it seems impossible. You need to let go of all that negative energy in order to go on. It's the only way to go on.  

Cassie woke up to her aunt snoring on the other side of the bed. She was extremely loud! How did Derek ever sleep with that thing? Even worse, she smelled like she herself had downed the whole bottle of tequila. She could have least shared with Alex!

She reached for her crutches but failed. She wasn't even supposed to be going up and down, but she hated lack of movement. Even if it was painful, she was going to move on her own, even if that meant scooting up and down the stairs one by one (or having Alex carry her as he had been doing).

So, she tumbled off of the bed and onto the ground, making a loud bang. She wondered how long it would be until someone ran into the room and gave her the look. The 'you are injured and incapable of walking let me help you' look.

"Shit," she muttered. Meredith stirred, and no one came running in. Amelia, however, walked in, looking somewhat irritated. Her hair was pulled back in a bun, and she was still in her pajamas. Cassie didn't know what time it was. Was it time for the surgeons to go be surgeons?

"Did you have to fall off of the bed right now? I was in the midst of planning Penny's murder." Cassie just looked back at her, waiting for her aunt to help her back onto the bed because now her leg felt like it was twisted the wrong way and it hurt just a little.

Amelia realized this within a second and helped Cassie back onto the bed. She handed her the crutches and offered to help her hop down the stairs (because Amelia felt she would drop her). Meredith still hadn't moved an inch, and Amelia muttered something along the lines of 'it must be nice to drown her sorrows in alcohol.'

Maggie and Alex were already sitting at the kitchen table. It was obvious to Cassie that the three other adults had spent a lot of time discussing what had transpired already. Cassie had questions, but she didn't know if it was her place to ask. So, she hobbled to the pantry and got the cereal she wanted, watching Maggie and Alex go back and forth.

"Is she okay? Maybe I should stay home..." Maggie was saying. "She was there the night he died. She was there when none of us were. If we were there..."

"Yeah, well, he's dead. He's dead, it sucks, but Mer has to deal with all this crap." Alex retorted. Amelia seemed to be the silent observer of the three in this particular moment, sipping her coffee and watching the two of them go back and forth. She probably wasn't lying about planning Penny's murder. It was, Cassie had come to the conclusion, her negligence that led Derek to his death. And everyone has their McDreamy, but it was Meredith's that died that day. It was Amelia's older brother that had died that day.

"One of us should stay with her today. I was such a bad sister! I left her here because of my sex with DeLuca and yeast infections and..."

"You couldn't have known it was going to blow up like that."

"Well, it always does, doesn't it?"

Cassie chose this as her moment to speak up from her corner. "I know I am the kid here, and maybe I have no place in this conversation, but can someone please fill me in here?"

Amelia looked up, and Cassie gulped. The look in her eyes was one she had never seen before. It reminded her, just a little, of some of her old foster parents. She immediately felt bad for thinking that, because Amelia was grieving and had a right to be angry. "Callie's new girlfriend was there the night Derek died. She chose not to get a head CT, and he stroked out waiting for an incompetent neurosurgeon who didn't give a shit."