My Sister's Keeper

22

People confuse me. No one in specific. Just people in general. How their perspective can vary so much from mine. Each one of us is different. We all have different experiences that bring us to the person that we are. We each have our own core values. And even though we have those different experiences, they should hopefully bring us to a similar understanding of the world. To love. To be compassionate towards one another. To be honest when needed. To be the person someone else needs. To be the good man in the storm.

Upon saying that people confuse me, a very smart friend of mine said that confusion is good sometimes. And he's right. Because we need confusion to grow. If we aren't confused about how things are, it means we accept them without question. But how can we accept these things without feeling a certain disconnect between them? There must be a certain blindness to the thought of all.

To hell with them.

She didn't know how long she sat there, mushed between her brother and this woman who had kind of become the person she wanted in her life. Meredith somehow understood. She didn't think anyone could, but she did.

Her head was nuzzled on Meredith's shoulder, while her brother had wrapped his arms around her. She couldn't stop crying. Meredith had started rubbing her hand up and down the girl's back and that had made it worse.

"It's okay." Meredith kept saying. "You're okay. We got you."

Cassie appeared in the doorway not too long after. She made eye contact with Meredith, who nodded. She didn't react drastically, but rather kneeled in front of Amber and put her forehead to the girl's. Amber looked up, and her breathing soon calmed down.

"Let's go sit in the living room. I'll go make some hot chocolate." Meredith said, leading the girls to the couch and pushing them down gently. Alex placed a blanket over his sister before going to sit down on the other couch. He kept rocking back and forth on his feet. He was probably blood boiled and ready to punch out half the state of Iowa. Meredith had told him, "We need to talk to Amber; I think there's something she hasn't told us." But Alex knew Mer and that if she was saying that she knew at least part of the story.

Meredith came back with two hot chocolates and two coffees, placing them all on the table. She looked up at the two girls. Amber had wrapped herself completely in the blanket and had gone silent. She was clutching Cassie's hand as if it was a lifeline.

"Amber, what happened?" Meredith asked in a calm and quiet voice.

"I, uh..." her eyes darted from one person to another across the room. "I was raped. In the last foster home." She looked at her brother in fear of his reaction. He just looked sad.

"Do you want me to leave?" Cassie asked, understanding that whatever it was that was about to come out was not something to be only taken with a grain of salt.

Amber grew worried at those words, "No, stay." She turned back to the grownups. "I left as soon as I could. This guy... he... I was fine with being beat up. It didn't bother me anymore. But he took something so sacred away from me. I deserved the chance to be able to have sex for the first time with whoever I wanted. And this guy... I don't know if I can ever go a day without seeing his face in my mind."

"Why didn't you call me?" Alex asked, sounding a little bit angry. She shrunk back, and he noticed. "I'm sorry, Amber. This is my fault. I shouldn't have ever left you there. I should have brought you with me."

"Alex." His baby sister bit. "I blamed you for so long. But then when I got here, I saw you. You save kids! You save the kids that can't be saved. I know you didn't leave me there because you wanted this to happen. I just wished you hadn't left me there for so long. But you aren't the one who raped me. He was."