Crazed Minds | ✔️

two

"Voices in my head, telling me I'm gonna end up dead."
-Save Me, XXXTENTACION
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Rosa leads me down the hall to a crude room with no windows. A man stands at the table at the back, and eyes me suspiciously as Rosa instructs, "You need to empty your bag and pockets so we can remove any dangerous weapons. Your cell phone and all other devices must be handed in too."

I'm not too concerned about my cell phone, since all it has meant for me over the past few weeks is cruel messages and death threats for what I did. I hand it to the man. He then begins to open my suitcase while Rosa checks my rucksack. It takes a few moments for them to brush through my luggage, before Rosa hands me back my rucksack and asks, "No weapons?"

The weight of my pocket knife slotted in the side of my shoe becomes a thousand times heavier. "Is that a first?" I say dryly.

"Yes."

"Oh."

I grab my suitcase and swing my rucksack over my shoulder before shadowing her out of the room. She leads me up two flights of stairs and down a narrow hall, which is much quieter than what I'd imagined. But everything about this school goes against my initial assumptions, and the lack of chaos is no exception.

The walls are a deep red with gold-framed portraits of exquisite-looking men and women. There are many doors lining the hall, and the corridors themselves seem to carry on for ages.

She stops outside a door with 256 on its heart, and turns the handle. It swings open to reveal a modest room with a bed on one side, a closet standing against the back wall and a desk beneath the window on the right wall. There is a pleasant view of a wooded area outside the window. All in all, it's nice, considering...

I rest my suitcase against the bed and turn to Rosa, who is standing at the door. She folds her arms and explains, "You'll find your map and schedule on the desk. Lessons start tomorrow. Be downstairs for dinner this evening at six o'clock sharp, and breakfast in the morning is at seven o'clock on the dot. If you're late, you won't eat. Do you understand?"

She's explaining it so quickly that it's difficult to keep up, but I nod anyway.

Rosa grins and adds, "Dress appropriately for dinner." Her eyes wander to my large hoodie and black ripped jeans with chuck taylors on my feet.

"What about uniform?" I ask, thinking back to my old school where blazers and ties were mandatory.

She chuckles as if I'd said it to loosen the obvious tension in the conversation and flutters her hand in the air to wave it off. "No, no. Surely you packed your own clothes. Wear those. As long as it's appropriate, then it's okay. The first step to recovery is to be yourself, uniform prohibits this."

I raise my eyebrows in surprise, while she smiles one last time, saying, "If you need anything, come speak to me." Then she's gone.

Once the door shuts, I stand there without quite knowing what to do. And then I'm flooded with a new wave of voices and I can barely stand.

Why is it so quiet? I thought this was reform school.

I can see this pretty school going up in flames.

You're gonna die here.

Your parents are never coming back for you.

"Shut up!" I yell, slamming my hands to the side of my head and falling onto the bed behind me.

They shut up.

***

At about five minutes before six o'clock, I scan over my map and realise the dining hall is to the left of the door in the front entrance. Not too difficult, so I leave my map on the desk and slip out the door.

Earlier on, I had a look through my timetable and it said lessons start at eight. I have two lessons, then lunch, then two more lessons, and then it's social time. Despite the fact I have no one to socialise with, I'm happy about the schedule. I can go to the library or the gym or pool or just go outside. And then students need to be in rooms by nine o'clock. Pretty lenient, if you ask me.

I change into a pair of plain black jeans and a denim jacket, keeping my knife in my side pocket. My uncle got it for me when I was ten, 'in case I get jumped'. I've never used it. I've never needed to use it. Until now, perhaps.

And without realising it, I think I'm lost. I stop in place and spin around a few times. I'm in a corridor that's exactly like all the others, which doesn't help.

Suddenly, I feel someone's hand on my arm. When I follow the arm to the face, I sigh in relief. A friendly-looking girl with long blonde hair and crystal blue eyes is grinning at me. She doesn't look insane in the slightest. She's wearing a pair of navy jeans and a flannel shirt. "Are you lost?"

I smile a pitiful smile and nod. "I thought I knew where I was going. Turns out I don't."

She chuckles. "It's all right. Come with me."

I gratefully walk beside her as she asks, "You're new here, right?"

"Yeah. This place isn't what I imagined at all."

"Let me guess, you imagined it with psychotic teenagers with daddy issues running around with knives?"

"How did you know?" I say with a short laugh.

She taps the side of her head. "Experience. Everyone thinks that. But it's not what anyone thinks it is. This place is home."

"So you like it then?"

"Absolutely. I was dumped here when I was fourteen for severe depression and anxiety. Tried to kill myself twice. This place saved me."

I glance at my feet as we walk down the flights of stairs. "What about everyone else? They like it as much as you?"

She shakes her head, her blonde hair swishing from side to side. "Most do. Some hate it. The proper mental cases, I mean. The ones who think they're animals or furniture."

I laugh lightly, and I think it's my first time doing so since the incident. An image of flames appears in my head, burning orange and bright, and it cuts me short.

The girl doesn't notice, and instead asks, "What's your name?"

"Olivia. You?"

"Sky."

"To match your eyes?"

"Never heard that one before," she replies sarcastically.

I grin contentedly as we walk through the doors to the dining hall. And it's my first time seeing actually people apart from Sky and Rosa.

I figured that maybe this place isn't as chaotic as I'd once thought. But the dining hall takes 'chaos' to a whole new level.