(buli)Mia

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I sit sullen with my family
At the pretty dinner set
Pushing food past my lips
Already tainted with regret
I eat enough to get by
Never more than that
I can't consent over her
Screaming that I'm fat
Then I excuse myself to the bathroom
Turn on the music and lock the door
Puke up my profanity till she says I'm done
And I'm lying on the floor
When I don't have to I can't eat
I look at thinspiration
I look in the mirror
Disgusted with my reflection
I know this isn't healthy
But I don't care you know
I want to be beautiful
I want to see my bones
I will stop eventually
But my heart fills with dread
Cause I don't think she will let me go
At least until I'm dead...

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