The Meet and Greet that changes my life.../..Living with SM

Dreaming with a broken heart (part 2)

I don't know what a should say..! I never felt so terrible in my entire life before ..they promised me i can go ..I waited soo long ..about 2 years just to see him for 3 seconds and give him a hug and tell him that i love him. It's not more. Just 3 seconds. Nobody can understand my feelings..nobody!! If you never was in such a situation you won't understand the pain. It's just the feeling that you know the person you dreaming about, the person that decorates your room, the person that takes all your time,your sleep,your fuckin life..The person that doesn't even know you exist!! That's the worst of all!! I think about this boy every hour,minute,second and he doesn't know that there's a person like me existing .. For me he is the reason I smile every day, the reason of my happiness, he gives me power and energy !! Because of his incredible voice. I have one wish..but that's apparently too much. I think I'm staying at home tomorrow. I write an important exam but idgaf !! Seriously ..i can't even add 1+1 !!! Thanks mom and dad for ruining my life!!! But the thing is , if my little brother wants to have for example a dinosaur figure for like idk 40$ he'd get it ! All the stuff he get is unnecessary ! But I'm always quiet ..'cause he should be happy..bla bla !! What about me?? I don't wanna to have piercings or tattoos ..I'm not addicted to drugs or cigarettes.. I'm just addicted to a Canadian sweet boy named Shawn Mendes..I stop better otherwise i get more and more depresses!!

I closed my eyes and cried so hard that my whole pillow is full of tears . Then I repented it immediately because i saw his face in front of my inner eye and I know that Shawn wouldn't want that i cry. But where is his hand to warm me up..where are his lips to kiss my tears away..I'm never gonna experience that!!

-Hard work!! Now it's getting dramatically haha..poor Skylar..I'm sure shawn woukd like your name!! Next chapter probably tomorrow ;** Love ya sweeties