Tales of a Triangle and a Pine Tree (BillDip oneshots)

Story 23

(Happy Valentines Day! I hope you have a great time with your significant other... Or just reading fanfic at home by yourself, which is my master plan :)
Anyways, part 2 of Story 22 should be out soon! I'd say it's maybe two thirds complete and a heck of a lot longer than I anticipated. Enjoy the oneshot!)

Dipper Pines sighed as he removed a large bouquet of flowers from his locker. Valentine's Day was today, and this sort of this happened every single year. As he and Mabel were nearly identical twins, some lovestruck admirer of his sister's always got the twin's lockers mixed up while trying to woo his sister into being theirs.
"Hey Mabes, we've got more flowers for you over here." he called to his sister. That was another problem. His locker was number 618, and hers was number 619, causing more than a fair bit of confusion. Mabel shut her locker and looked over eagerly. She already had a girlfriend, but that sure as heck didn't stop people from trying, and Mabel loved every second of it.
"Ooh, this person actually knows how to pick a bouquet!" she said, voice edged with respect. "Remember that awful newspaper wrapped thing of daisies that one guy tried to give me?"
"My locker stank of damp newspaper and rotting flowers for two weeks afterwards, how could I forget?" Dipper replied dryly, placing the bouquet in his sister's hands. This was probably the biggest one yet, yellow and blue roses wrapped in silky red ribbon and fancy white lace, the whole arrangement edged and filled out by sprinklings of buttercups and Forget-Me-Nots. There was a card too, but Dipper didn't bother giving it a second glance. Mabel held the bouquet delicately to her face and sniffed, giggling as the soft petals tickled her face.
"I could stick my entire face in this thing!" she cheered. "Geez, I don't know if Mom has a big enough vase for this." Dipper shut his locker and leaned against it.
"You'll have to use a bowl." he joked with a smile. Mabel's finger's brushed against the card.
"Alright, let's see what poor sap spent this much money getting me flowers." she said, pulling it off of the side of the bouquet. It was printed on stiff cream colored paper, and a simple red heart was printed on the front. "How much do you bet it was Gideon?"
"Desperate prick." Dipper muttered, shaking his head. "Didn't he buy you a whole chocolate store last year?"
"He tried." Mabel amended. "And don't say "buy" when he just tried to intimidate that poor woman into signing over her store." She flicked open the card with sparkly pink polish covered nails. Mabel squinted for a moment, then broke into a wide grin.
"What?" Dipper asked. "Were they from Pacifica? She of all people should know which locker is yours–" To his surprise, Mabel shook her head and started giggling, thrusting the flowers towards him.
"Nope! Dipper, there wasn't a mistake!" He blinked in confusion as she slid the card into one of his hands.
"There wasn't... What?" he asked dumbly, shifting the flowers around in his arms. Mabel motioned eagerly to the card, bouncing on her toes in excitement as if trying to take flight. Dipper opened the card, and had to squint in order to read the looping cursive letters. The obnoxious, metallic gold pen that had been used to write the letter wasn't helping much either.

Roses are red
Yet some of these are blue
Poetry is fucking difficult
You're seriously the cutest guy I've ever seen
(Nature really is hella screwy, those roses totally aren't red)

"Well then..." Dipper said, deadpanning as Mabel started laughing. "Oh come on Mabel, this is clearly a joke." That caused his sister to stop laughing.
"What? Why would it be?" she demanded. Dipper rolled his eyes.
"Well for one thing, I wouldn't give me flowers if my life depended on it. And there's no one in this school who actually thinks I'm cute." Mabel contemplated this for a moment, tapping her foot in concentration.
"What about your friend from science class?" she finally asked, brown eyes brightening. "You know, the one you said was funny?"
"Bill?" Dipper said with a slight scoff. "We aren't friends, we were partners for a project once and we occasionally sit next to each other. He knows I exist. I wouldn't really call that a friendship."
"Oh, right, how could I forget that you're friends with the school's most popular hottie?!" Mabel squealed. "Other than Pazzy, of course. But 'Dipper's science class nerd buddy Bill' and 'Bill Cipher' just don't go together in my mind." She seemed to contemplate the thought as she adjusted the bright pink headband that sat in her hair. "Probably because you don't really have any friends, no offense. So the thought of Bill Cipher hanging out with you is weird."
"Hey!" Dipper said in protest. "I do too have friends!" His gaze dropped to the bouquet in his arms. "Just maybe not that many." Mabel patted his shoulder comfortingly.
"Well, you do have a secret admirer!!!" she said excitedly. "Ooh, I hope they confess their undying love for you today! Then you can romantically ride off into the sunset with him on his unicorn!!!"
"...on a unicorn? Really Mabel?" Dipper asked his sister, trying to jam the huge bouquet back in his locker without squishing all of the flowers. A couple of blue and yellow rose petals fluttered to the floor, but he picked them up and stuck them in the back pocket of his jeans.
"Would you prefer a multi-headed dolphin named Aoshima?" Mabel asked. "Because I can work with that too." Dipper blinked at his sister, trying to figure out how the heck her mind worked.
"I... The unicorn is fine." he finally said weakly, as Mabel shrugged her bright pink backpack onto her shoulders. Pointing quickly at the dolphins on her sweater, she cried "ONWARDS, AOSHIMA!!!" and dashed down the hallway towards her first period class. Dipper shook his head at his sister's antics as he walked in the opposite direction towards his first class, math. He subconsciously stuck his hand in his back pocket, and felt the rose petals brush against his fingertips. No one would spend that much money on a prank... Right?
When he reached the classroom, he found that about half of his classmates were already in the room. The majority of them were huddled in small groups, talking about something. Every once in a while, one of them would look over at the chalkboard. When Dipper entered the room, the noise died for a second as everyone stared at him, before the buzz quickly started up again.
"What...?" he asked quietly to himself, before walking over to his favorite spot by the window. It was ideal for daydreaming and looking outside. Dipper put his textbook and binder down on the desk, and placed his backpack on the floor next to his chair. He glanced up briefly, then froze, doing a double take and looking at the chalkboard again. Written in huge, looping letters was his first and name. The handwriting matched the writing on the card. His name was surrounded by hearts drawn in pink chalk, the entire board taken up by the two words. Wordlessly, Dipper pulled out his phone and snapped a picture, sending it to Mabel. She responded mere seconds later.