Random book 1

I'm bored so here are some oneliners i've acc used.

Exactly as the title says. And yes. I have said these at one point or another.

Sis: Come Play!
Me:No, I'm tired.
Sis: From doing what?
Me: all the homework I haven't done.

*mum barges into my room*
Me: Knock Knock
Mum: whose there?
Me: clearly not you bcz you don't fucking knock.

*random celebs nudes got leaked*
Bestie:Holy shit did you see *celebs name* nudes got leaked?
Me: I'm not bothered as long as the Krabby Patty Formula is safe.

Bestie: Hey. Are you busy. I wanna come over (cheeky bitch)
Me: acc yea.
Bestie: Aw you were busy yesterday too. What are you doing?
Me: Well yesterday i did fuck all and today I'm finishing what i did yesterday.
Bestie :I'm coming over you fucking pleb.

*mum doesn't care anymore and she literally walks in and rages the fridge and me ma doesn't look up. Its quite funny*

Me : Would you wear shoes if you had no feet.
Girl: Don't be stupid of course not.
Me: then why do you wear a bra?

Spanish teacher (yes the one i hate) : What do you call someone who talks nonsense and people don't understand him?
Me : A Spanish teacher.