Discontinued

love and pain

lances pov*** 10 year old lance

I've always learned that love is between a man and a woman, but i love boys and girls. so if i love both then what am i? i wish i could ask keith. i miss him so much. why do i feel this way? i feel like im being stabbed in the heart everyday. well every time i think about him not being here with me. i hate school because keith isnt there. i hate my house because keith doesnt come through my window anymore. i hate life because keith isnt in it.

why do i feel this way? ive never felt like this before. why now?   i think the only way to not feel like this anymore is if i  can push away this feeling of utter sadness and grief.

lances pov*** 16 year old lance

"honey please come downstairs." lances mother has been calling him honey for years now ever since lance became closed off. ever since lance was ten and was left alone in his house for two days, with no one to talk to. he was thinking in deep thought for so long that he just became, emotionless. he started to believe that what he thought was real and that was just how he should be.

(warning suicidal thoughts and actions up ahead)

lance had gone to some therapy sessions before but none of then have done anything to help him. he was diagnosed with depression and was caught cutting himself in his bathroom. all he wanted was to see keith again, buthe knew he wouldnt and he thought that keith had forgotten all about him.

the few months leading up to the move lance got worse he had thoughts of suicide and was still caged in his own mind. his thoughts were more or less destroying him. his parents knew that he was getting this way, so they decided to look for jobs in Vancouver. they desperately wanted the old lance back. so they decided to make it a surprise trip. they told lance they were going to meet up with some old work buddies for a wedding.

lance was just in the car staring at the signs thinking,  hoping, he wouldnt see anyone he knew. just like that they were in vancouver and lance caught on to what was happening after they stopped at a sold house and a moving truck was there.

lance knew what they were trying to do, but  he knew it wouldnt work. he hated how sad he made the people around him so he progressively "got better". he faked it until it seemed true. everyday he tried to make the people around him happy because " hes getting better isnt that amazing."  he had two weeks until he had to go to school so upuntil that point he smiled and laughed during the day and cried and hurt during the night.

the morning of the first day he was up at 4:30 am just practicing smiling and laughing and other words he could use to convince others he was okay.

keiths pov*** still standing there talking to lance

why did he look so sad? was it because of me or pidge? i dont know but i want to help him in some way. maybe he just needs a hug.

keith walked over closer towards lance stopping every couple of steps. rethinking whathe was about to do, but he still walked closer and closer. then when he was right in front of lance he looked up and hugged lance.

lance was so confused on what was going on, but his fake smile turned to tears then to a real smile. lance hugged him back.

lance looked down on this short little angel and said, " i missed you so much."

keith looking up, their lips barely an inch apart said," i know, but im here now. everything will be okay."

a/n hey everyone i hope you liked this chapter. im sorry they are always short but  i can only think of so many things at once. this was pretty tough to write bc it hit hard at home with me.but i still hope you guys enjoyed this and chapter 5 will be here soon byyyyeeeee
I hate myself bc in the first attempt at this I said angle not angel I'm so sorry I'll go home and die