When I Was Your Man | E x V

f o u r

Although it hurts
I'll be the first to say that I was wrong

  ♡♡♡  

Dear Roni,

Why is it that I feel as if I don't love you as much anymore? Every time my mind starts to think of how beautiful you are, it trails off to something else.

Is this normal?

I don't even know what's happening to me, Roni. I love you, so much, but I don't know what's happening. No matter how much I try, I can't stop being a douchebag to you, I can't stop going to places and avoiding you.

You're the mother of my expecting baby, but maybe our son doesn't deserve someone like me to be his father.

When I came home today and saw Aaron, my heart froze. I thought he was an affair of yours or something, and I was terribly wrong.

He's such a nice person to you, he's your best friend. He mentioned something that I thought was very true. It hurts that it's the truth but I can't stop it from coming.

That he cares about you more than I do. All I did in your life was cause problems. For goodness sake, I got you pregnant in your young years. You didn't mind that, you were so happy, but your family did. You lost your family, just for me.

Was it worth it though? Was it worth getting rid of the people who brought you into this world just to be with a douchebag like me?

No, I don't think so.

You're so lucky to have Aaron, he's such a nice fella, and he really takes care of you like the princess you are. Why can't you just fall in love with him so I can go and stop ruining your life?

I've made a decision Roni, it's gonna hurt but I made it.

As soon as you deliver our baby, I'm gonna see him and then leave. I'm gonna leave somewhere far far away. The only way the baby's gonna contact me is through a phone. Not even facetime, I don't want him to see the face of his horrible failure of a father.

I mean you could show him pictures of me, but I really don't want you to.

That's the best for him. I hope Aaron takes care of you, I bet he will. Hopefully, you two get married and have beautiful children of your own.

I know I'm being selfish but I can't see you hurting, and all I do is hurt you.

So, I guess you'll get this letter when I'm already gone. Just know that I love you so fucking much, and I won't ever forget you.

And I have a purity ring on because I can't stand to move on to another girl after you. I can't stand hurting another girl too. It also isn't possible, your beautiful face is too beautiful to forget.

Don't worry, I'm not killing myself. I believe every person deserves a second chance, and I'll try my best to change, for you.

I love you Roni, I guess you're Veronica to me now. I love you Veronica, and try to forget your love for me.

Farewell, my love.

Love,
Ethan Grant Dolan

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No comment, I'm so sad haha. This is too much for me. 😭

But I like this chapter.

I hope you didn't cry. And only like two more chapters left of this!

And also, I didn't forget about "Lucid Dreams" at all, I'm just writing a couple chapters so I can publish them soon.

You guys are gonna be shooketh by it haha. 😂

So yeah, I love you guys. So much.

Xoxo,
Umi 💜