Eighteen Going on Dead

Chapter Eight: Catholic Sinner

It's been over a decade since I stepped into a church, the last time it was for my parents funeral. I remembers the day perfectly because that's when I was sent to a foster home for two weeks until the lawyer could figure out who will take me in. It was cold, harsh winds with light ice rain; the middle of winter, even my tear turned frozen on my cheek. Not everyone in the family shows up, but there were many flowers and chocolates to show their condolences. Grandma Anita was colder than a bat out of hell when seeing her youngest daughter laying in that coffin.

This time when I walked into small church, my insides burned slowly as if I were a demon crossing holy ground. I wasn't there for prayer nor to confess my delay sins, instead I was their to see the the latest victim of Tony's demon nature. Katy kneeled behind the pew, fingers interlocked, eyes closed as she mumbled a few prayers under her breath. Before I could step in the pew, she stiffened and looked up as if I were a ghost. "Zaire, what are you doing in here?" Katy could be the only teenager willing to come to church after school and without her parents, it would be weird to see another fellow classmates to walk into the church on a Wednesday afternoon.

I took a seat on the uncomfortable wooden seat, my fingers tapped my knees as I stared at the Mother Mary statue staring right in my soul. "I... I was hoping to confess." My insides burned even more for lying.

Katy sat next to me, brows raised in confusion. "Seriously?"

I tear my gaze away from the statue and into her hazel eyes that held pain. "Yeah, I never confessed before and wanted to start now."

"Are you even... Catholic?"

"Baptist, but what's the difference. One is more spiritual than the other but we all praying to the same guy." I chuckled, but immediately cleared my throat. "Where's the pastor?... sorry, priest."

"He's doing another person's confession."

"I'm kinda in a hurry..."

"My father says it's easier to talk to a stranger than someone close. Considering we haven't spoken more than two words to one another, I can be your ears. However, we can't do it here. How about we get some tea?"

"Sure, tea sounds nice."

Katy gave me a faint smile before leading the way out the church. The cool breeze made the dirty blonde strains of her hair sticking out from her French braid, her cheeks turn red from the sudden chill, and the light freckles on her nose was no longer hiding under the sun rays. A regular catholic innocence, inside and out.

The one and only cafe in town was right down the street from the church, it was empty (like always) and just because the owner was also the bank managers daughter, there was no way it will be shut down. Katy and I sat in the middle of the empty cafe with the clay mug of tea warming our hands.

"So, what is it that you want to confess?" Katy asked after the short silence.

I took a sip of my lemon tea before opening my mouth to speak, "I'm holding many secrets... major secrets."

"What kind?"

"Well, one of them being my parents death was more or less a murder- suicide attempt."

Lifting her red mug to her lips, Katy tried to hide her curios frown. "Why do you think that?"

"I don't think, I know. My parents died from a car accident, as my aunt said. Truthfully, the roads were empty or at least had one or two cars at one in the morning. My father was an excellent driver, he even has his CDL license, he doesn't drink and barely hold road rage. Also, the car was brand new, fresh out the factory, Aunt Joyce said their brakes failed and they couldn't stop; that's a lie. Then they went straight through the concrete railing of the bridge, smacked through with no hesitation."