Revolting Relations

Chapter 1/Part 1 ~ Snuffle Crumble

***NBR CHAPTER***

Welcome to Revolting Relations! It's a bit Bawdy here, so there's some (a lot) really low humour, sexual innuendo everywhere but no explicit parts named, just implied among the action. I expect that to be not everyone's cup of tea so apologies to anyone who groans through. 

Thanks in advance for your time in reading and reviewing.

Questions:

CT answers here:

Question 1: VRYE. Thoughts on him and whether his personality is entirely off-putting here, or if it's tolerably obnoxious?

Question 2: Details. Settings, characters etc. Are there enough and general thoughts?

Question 3:  Are you for or against sex-scenes, and how does this sit on the scale of too much/too little for you? (checking which brand of reader this might appeal more to so I know which direction to lean into)  

***** (Hopefully) Happy Reading! *****

Nestled in a blanket of eternal darkness lay the lost Palace of Versayls. The only standing testament to the more-gilding-than-sense approach of Wyverkiiri architects. The other had crumbled last week, only a month after its completion.

Versayls had so far prevailed against the test of two long years, but it did not have another in it. The walls had started to crack and bow, the ceilings sagged and towers stooped. If anyone sneezed too hard, the palace would crumble and only the garden of jewels would remain.

But now it had to become a fortress and hold against a siege. The enemy was marching over rock...and more rock...across the black, rocky, expanse of Tyrunvern.

And their King had quite forgotten what time it was.

Vrye groggily raised his head from the supple buttock that served dutifully as his pillow. His eyelids were reluctant to lift up and face the night as he discreetly wiped a string of drool from his cheek and the one beneath it. Sleep slowly released its loving embrace, but his bedfellows were in no hurry to assent. Somewhere in the tangle of beautiful bodies one of his legs still slumbered, quite unable to dislodge from amid a cluster of interwoven limbs.

Content to give his leg the time it needed to join the waking world, Vrye traced hearts on the bottom that had given him such a refreshing rest. He thought about breakfast, but having likely missed that his thoughts turned to brunch, then to the impending doom that was coming for him around afternoon-tea-time.

Vrye's eyelids leapt up to warn his superbly sculpted brows. There was no time for lazy body parts. However, one was a little too awake and threatened to lodge itself in every available crevice during his daring escape from the carnal labyrinth. He twisted and contorted with even more flexibility than he had shown hours before—and his darned knee locked up. Then his hip.

He cajoled his ageing joints into showing some small mercy. When they relented he successfully slipped down the silken sheets without disturbing a single lover. Under the bed was not his first choice of hiding places, but the armoire was beyond his reach.

There was a crash as the door blew open.

A splash of water thrown over the slumbering beauties above.

And a roar of "WHERE IS HE?" from the fearsome Countess Merlo.

Vrye held his breath and curled up by the wall. A nasty, black rat leered at him, having had the same idea.