Red Patches White Robes (RussiaXPrussia)

Lost

I just paused In my place, in my own puddle of shock and shame. The thought just stuck there untill it became a realization. I was in love with Ivan. I couldn't even cry, I just sat there, holing my legs like a boulder beside him. It had all come together, all the confusion and all of these feelings that where haunting me. The curiosity's and the wonders of him, all of it was just me, wanting him. 

I caught a quick glimpse of his face and it stuck, I held there just looking at his ragged, helpless face. It took some time before I noticed the image get blurry and my cheeks getting cold with the sensation of tears. How could I ever forgive myself for what I did. So what if he put scars on my body. I will never be as scarred, as broken or as hurt as he is, no one will be. So I felt guilt for it all, every person that hated him, every time I screamed at him, every time I just saw his dark side. Whenever I thought I had seen his true self, the Ivan no one knows, I just turned my back on him and couldn't believe he could be any more that a monster.

So there I sat, crying waterfalls out of my heart upon the bedside, begging for forgiveness and confessing to my sins. 

"Please. Please oh god please! I love you! Forgive me please!" I screamed into the sheets, clenching them within my hands. " I never saw it! I never saw who you where! Please.." I begged, and buried my face into his side.

A warm touch brushed my backside. I held my breath as he wispered beside me.

"I love you."

The soft, silhouette of his voice purred in my ear and brought me to his eyes. We both looked at another. I was lost in his eyes, his smile.  I kept searching for something to say, but everything I mustered up just came falling out as random stutters. He smiled at me and laughed and a rush of blood flooded into my face followed by a moment of stillness, then tears. 

"I'm so sorry." My head dropped into my hands. 

I heard him move in close, offering me his embrace. I fell into him without hesitation, it felt like I had no control for myself. I wasn't scared or afraid, the moment I hit his chest I felt relief. A long awaited, often doubted feeling.

Peace of mind. 

Over and over I wispered and gasped into his chest, Im sorry, Im sorry. His strong hands brushed into my hair and on my back, His soft words of comfort easing my pain away.

"Prussia." He moved close to my ear, I pulled back rom his arms and looked at him. My heart stopped dead as he clasped my face with his hands and pulled me towards him. Our bodys colided, and than, our lips. It felt like my mind had just been oblitterated, all of my thoughts and all of my feeling came blundering at eahother in one big powerhouse bang. I reeled back from the kiss and shock then soon eased into it. His lips where warm, like his hands. I threw my arms around his neck and gasped or air just before falling back into another kiss.

This moment, felt like an eternety. 

I gentliy ran my hands over his, feeling the soft edges of the sheets covoring his knuckles and wrists up to his shoulders. He had such strong arms, I felt like I could hide away in them forever. I had never felt somthing like that before a love that strong. I just gave in compltetely. 

His kisses began to veer off to my neck, each one sending a shiver up my spine like a spider up my back, my body was going limp and weak. It was to a point where it felt like the only thing supporting me was lvan, his hands lifting my body to his lips. I felt his grast around my waist as he lifted me onto his lap with ease. I clammered and grabbed for him in shock All of this felt so unreal taht I harldy even noticed how fast It was moving. My reaction was to bury my face in his chest.

"Hm" I heard him snicker playfuly. 

"Wh-what?!" I sneered, my words distorted with embarassment. I felt so stupid, hiding away in his chest.

He grabbed my waist and lifted me up, before I could even comment he was already on top of me, his hands on my wrists holding me down. I couldent even gasp though his lips. I couldent grab a hold of myself, I was falling deeper and deeper into the moment as it kept prying at me. the more I fell, the more I gave in and wanted to never stop. 

I never, ever wanted to stop.

Ivans body was running up against mine, like silk we brushed against eachother as his sweet pecks continued down my neck to my chest. He stopped for a seccond to look up at me before grasping the first button on my blouse with his index finger and pulling down, tearing it from its thread. He immidiatly placed a long kiss on the now rvealed part of my chest. A moan had escaped my lips as he pressed on my chest. I coulent help it, no matter how embarasssing it was it was envitable as he had just kissed my heart. 

One by one he pulled my buttons from there seams and floowed them by the warm trails of kisses down my torso untill he reached the last one and my shirt fell open. My scar was noticably revealed, not   carfully hidden behind fabric any more. 

His expression turned cold, Like A stab in his back.