𝐒𝐊𝐈𝐍 & 𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒 | ❝You want to eat everyone you see and I don't want to eat at all. Sounds to me like we'd be great friends.❞
In which an anorexic girl believed losing was the only way to win the game. Or, alternatively, Rory Swan's road to re...
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ALL OF LORELAI'S EMOTIONS were pouring out of her like a shaken-up soda bottle. She felt ridiculous. All she had done was take three steps into her old high school to celebrate the graduation of her little sister and the Cullens. That was all it took for her emotions to take over.
She stood in her old high school bathroom—a place she recalled spending a lot of time in when she didn't feel good about herself as a youthful teenager. She stared at her reflection in the mirror, feeling utterly disgusted with herself. From the way her eyes turned into little crescent moons when she smiled, the way her laugh sounded, how protective she was of her loved ones, the fact that she couldn't see her bones protrude out of her body anymore... Lorelai Swan felt ugly.
She felt stupid even thinking this. After all, dying gave her supernatural beauty, which seemed to be fit to attract a human meal. Yet, still, after all this time, she still felt like that scared, 14-year-old who had just gotten kicked out of her mother's home for being anorexic.
Lorelai's hands went to her face, her fingers pinching her cheeks. She frowned.
This wasn't right.
Lorelai was supposed to be happy. She had a loving father and sister, she had a more than loving boyfriend, she had the Cullens, she had Sam and his pack, she was physically healthy again, she was making friends, she was getting ready to go back to school again, and she was insanely powerful, which meant she could protect everyone she cared for.
If anything, Lorelai was finally going back to living a normal life. That was all she wanted. What more could she ask for? What else could possibly be wrong with her life?
Lorelai didn't turn to see who entered the bathroom when she heard the door open. Her darkened eyes were stuck on her reflection. Perhaps that was why she had covered up all the mirrors in her room at home—to avoid this feeling she most certainly didn't miss.
"There you are," Esme's warm voice greeted. The woman approached Lorelai, a gentle smile on her face. "The ceremony's going to start soon. Is everything alright?"
Lorelai sighed. "I don't know," she admitted. "I thought everything was alright, but apparently it's not. I mean, I'm supposed to be happy, right? I should be happy, but for some reason, I'm not."
She ran a hand through her hair, continuing, "I have so much I'm thankful for. I don't understand why I'm so unhappy. I finally have this life that I can consider normal again, yet it's nothing like I thought it would be. I hunt maybe once a month or so instead of every two weeks, meaning I'm pretty much starving myself, even when I told myself I'd never fall back into those habits ever again. I'm so exhausted from hunger that I can't even tell if Jasper knows that I've been lying to him about promising to hunt more frequently."
