Jeys Pov
I wake up to the sound of my alarm blaring and move to turn it off when I feel a weight on my side. There's Rosie asleep looking peaceful as can be. She's really quite a sight. People say brown eye's are ugly but I beg to differ. Rosie has the warmest eye's I've ever seen... If that makes sense. All of her is warm. She's not too tall, not too short; she's really quite perfect. My favorite thing about her is her smile. She smiles like she knows for certain everything is going to be okay, and honestly sometimes she makes me feel like it will be.
Sleeping with Rosie is so much different than sleeping with Jade. See Rosie Always hugs me and holds me close, makes me feel protected. With Jade she was such a small thing, not much smaller than me honestly but I was always the big spoon, always the one holding Jade Securely in my arms. Maybe the reason I felt like she was so small is because I knew deep down inside Jade thought she was broken and that made her small.
*Flash back 10 months ago*
Jesy pov
I've only known Jade for around two months now but we've been hanging out a lot, and constantly talking, if I'm honest she's just about the only person I speak to willingly these days.
I smile at the fact that I know I don't really need anyone else in my life. Jade brings me so much joy. For the first time in a long time I feel really connected to someone on a spiritual level. She's just perfect. I could sit here quietly in the grass with her forever.
Forever.
I associate that word so often with Jade, and normally that would scare me, but it doesn't. I feel safe with her, but sometimes I think she doesn't feel safe with herself... Is she safe with herself? I've noticed the long pale scars running across her thighs when she wears dresses, or even sometimes when she's in shorts. I don't mind then, infact I adore them like I adore the rest of Jade, I just wish I knew what was hurting on the inside so badly that she put it on display on the outside.
So I try, I do my best impression of the sun and try to keep Jade warm, and make her feel safe; from what I know everyone feels safer in the light... Like the bad thing can't get you. I'm not a very sunny person either, I have my past, my own scars. However I try, for Jade.
Sometimes I feel like she likes the darkness. Well maybe not so much likes it, but feels a part of it. She doesn't see what I see. Before I met Jade I never wanted to feel again but she brought me out of hiding and made my heart bloom a garden of beautiful roses. The problem with that is that I know roses wilt, I've told her this so often that I feel somewhere in her mind my words are tattooed. She thinks our friendship is some magical shit or something that is going to last forever, and while I don't believe her, against my better Judgement I have given into the fantasy, and I'm trying.
I told her I like her, she says she likes me too. I hope it's true. Right now sitting here under the sun with her it doesn't really seem to matter, because I'm here, she's here and we're alone together and nothing else matters.
"You're in your mind too often Jesminda, I wish you'd tell me what goes on in there" I smile gently at her as she lays her head on my extended legs and looks up at me with a peaceful expression on her face.
"I will if you will" I say softly not wanting to break the calm that surrounds us. She fidgets the hem of my shirt and closes her eyes.
"It's nothing you want to hear"
"Don't say that, I want to hear everything you've got to say"
"You're beautiful Jes"
"Not exactly what I mean Jade" she slowly opens her eyes and looks up at my face again. She's so beautiful, she's so.. Jade. She's everything. I start gently playing with her brown hair as she continues to look at me. It makes me feel sort of nervous, nervous she'll find a flaw she hadn't seen a second ago.
"I know, but you said everything, and right now that's what I've got to say" at this point my hand is just resting motionless in her hair. The fact that she said that without looking away from my eyes makes me want to believe her. She gently closes her eyes again and brings her hand to the one I have in her hair as a signal for me to keep going.
*end flash back*
Suddenly it hits me that I've been staring at a sleeping Rosie for the past few minutes thinking about the first time Jade fell asleep on my lap that day months ago when we were sitting in the grass. This isn't right. Rosie was my get away from everything Jade, and for a while it worked but suddenly the memory of Jade and everything she is that Rosie is not is haunting me. I lay back down suddenly feeling exhausted again. I've given up on doing anything today and my day hasn't even started.
An- hey guys here I am again. This story is moving really slowly and tbh it probably will the entire story. Also I've been thinking and it probably won't have a happy ending so if you're not into that I'm sorry. But hope you guys enjoyed it... At least a little
