Heronstairs.

Music and Words

Two weeks after Jem arrives at the Institute.

"Will! Jem!" Charlotte was starting to worry about the boys lack of presence when the library door swung open to admit two very late twelve year olds. The shriek of surprise had escaped Charlotte's lips before she could bite it back earning an amused glance from Will.
"Sorry we're late Charlotte." It was of course Jem, who spoke; Will wouldn't think to apologize. Charlotte pretended to look stern but when faced with Jem's uncertain, apologetic smile she felt her resolve crumble. She smiled to show she didn't mind, and the two boys sat opposite her. "So" she clapped her hands together "I, though we'd do something a bit different today." Will remained expressionless while Jem perked up even more, Charlotte wondered if that boy had an endless supply of happiness. Will spun to look at Jem's cheerful face and huffed in amusement. Clearly, he thought the same thing as Charlotte.
"So normally I'd get you to practice a fighting technique or remember some facts. However, today I want you to do something creative." Charlotte was surprised to say the least when Will sat up slightly in his seat. She smiled as she continued,
"I thought it would be nice for you to write something of your own like a story or-" she broke of in amazement as Will snatched up his notebook and starting scribbling down notes. Jem watched with a faraway look about his eyes, his individual notebook untouched. Will murmured under his breath as he wrote while Jem looked like someone had punched him. They stayed like that for a couple of moments until Will looked up at Jem, who grinned in response, all previous signs of misery vanishing. Charlotte stood and cleared her throat,
"You have until tomorrow and boys remember" they turned to look at her, "this is about you so just enjoy yourselves ok." They nodded as she turned to leave. The library door swung shut and Jem's face crumbled, from cheerful to verging on heartbreaking. Tears ran from his normally bright eyes despite his efforts to conceal them. After a couple of moments caught like a deer in the headlights Will reacted. He placed his arms around Jem's shaking shoulders and awkwardly patted his back. He was shocked when Jem went stiff and tried to fight away from Will. He instantly released Jem hurt in his eyes.
"Jem what's the matter? Are you hurt? Jem?" He could hear the strain in his own voice, and he hated it but not as much as he hated seeing his parabatai in pain. The steel behind Jem's expression looked so out of place.
"I'm sorry Will don't worry about me; I'm fine." Jem's voice shook slightly, but his gaze didn't. It was only because Will knew him so well that he could see the chinks in his friend armour.
"No you're not. Just tell me what's going on." The gentleness in his voice surprised him and managed to startle Jem into talking.
"It's nothing of importance Will. My stupidity is not your burden." Jem's choice of words puzzled Will enough for him to persist in his argument.
"Your stupidity? Jem you are not stupid."
"You don't know that Will, you couldn't possibly know that"
"So explain it to me!" He hadn't meant to shout, but his concern was only growing every time Jem tried to put him off. He didn't realize the effect he'd had on his friend until Jem whimpered, and the words flew from his mouth unchecked and uncontrolled.
"I'm sorry Will! I'm so sorry! I was embarrassed and scared alright. I've never told anyone before. I know what they would think, what you will think. You were wrong when you said I wasn't stupid." His voice faded into a whisper but Will could hear every word, and he found himself holding his breath; he knew the trust Jem was placing in him, and he didn't intend to betray it.
"I - I can't. I can't read!" Jem looked shocked at the words leaving his own mouth, and he dropped his head into his hands. Guilt. Anger. Anguish. The pain consumed Will in a tidal wave. How had he not known? Jem sobbed into his hands out of frustration and fear. Fear of Will, of what he would he would think and whether he would hate him. Will hugged the sobbing boy to him and for now neither spoke. Eventually Will whispered,
"Jem. You are not stupid, far from it." Silver eyes met deep-blue eyes "Jem you've probably already noticed that I don't care what people think about me, well everyone but you. The look of fear in your eyes when you told me." Tears welled in his eyes, "Look I don't care what people think about me, but I do care what they think about you." Jem pulled back so he could talk to face to face,
"Why?"
"Because you care." Jem blinked "don't tell me you don't because you do. And you know I'm not going to stand by knowing that you feel like you're worthless; you're not worthless. I'll teach you." Will stared into Jem's eyes praying he hadn't said the wrong thing. He watched the confusion lacing his expression,
"T - teach me t - to read?" Will grinned at his friend and nodded. Tears fell from Jem's eyes again only this time he smiled,
"Why would you do that for me? And anyway it takes months or even years to learn to read and write."
"It'll the as long as it takes, I am not giving up on you." Will prayed Jem would accept his offer for his sake and Will's. Will didn't think he could cope knowing that he had failed Jem, his brother for all intents and purposes. You can imagine then the relief Will felt when his friend nodded his agreement.
"Thank you Will, I can't even think I just -" Will cut him off not wanting to hear anymore of Jem's apologies when he had nothing to apologize for,
"We'll start as soon as possible, but first of all, we need to think about the story due in tomorrow." Jem nodded slightly his eyes clouded with thoughts. And then. Will realized.
"Music! You can write music!" Jem's face lit up, so he pressed on, "you may not be good with words Jem, but you don't need them when you have your music. You can tell a story with your violin better than I can with my words I guarantee." Jem shook his head his eyes wide with sheer amazement,
"What did I ever do to deserve you William?"
"You were yourself."

The next day

"I don't know Will I don't think this is what Charlotte meant." Jem whispered. Will and Jem sat side by side in the library, early for once, waiting for e head of the Institute.
"She said to write something about ourselves, which is precisely what you did. You wrote a piece of music that defines you, you did exactly why she asked." Just then Charlotte arrived looking slightly out of breath as if she'd ran the whole way there.
"Sorry to keep you waiting boys; I had to send an urgent fire message." She said by way of an explanation. Both boys remained silence, whether from anticipation or nerves, Charlotte wasn't sure, but she continued like normal,
"So Jem would you like to go first?" It wasn't really a question more a fact. Jem nodded timidly and stood placing his violin on his shoulder as he did.
"I wrote a piece of music instead of a story. I hope you don't mind?" He asked tentatively clearly expecting Charlotte to be angry or at the very least annoyed, so she smiled,
"Not at all I can't wait to hear it." Jem grinned as he placed the bow on the strings and began to play. He played the story of a boy, a happy childhood, loving parents, laughter and music, a foreign language and a city filled with life. The music shifted as Jem began to play fear, sorrow, grief and death. The music reached a crescendo just as it crashed back down to tell the beginning of a brand new chapter, a new family, a new home and a brother. Jem finished the piece and opened his eyes asking the silent question, did you like it?
Both Charlotte and Will broke into applause. Charlotte it appeared was crying and Will. Will whispered into Jem's ear,
"I told you so."

One month later

"Will I can't do it!"
"Yes, you can, just look how well you're doing already."
"That looks nothing like the letter M"
"James, listen to me ok." Will waited for the other boy to nod before continuing, "you can already read and it has only been a month. One month Jem! That is amazing. Just give yourself time, it won't be long before you can write just as easily as you can read. I promise."
"Don't make promises you can't keep William."
"Then you had better prove me right."

Several months later

Will whistled to himself, a newly acquired skill, as he pushed open his bedroom door. He flopped on to his bed grabbing his copy of a tale of two cities as he did so. He opened the front the cover only to find a letter with his name inscribed on the envelope. The writing was neat but with an untidy flourish Will didn't recognize. He quickly ripped the envelope open and pulled out the folded note.

Dear William,
I owe you so much. Without you, I would still be blind to the world around me. I will never be clever enough to tell a story like you can at least not with words. You taught me to say what I wanted to say through music, and that is debt I will never be able to repay.
Thank you,
James Carstairs X

Will was on his feet and half way thought he door before he even realised he'd moved. Tears stained his face, tears of joy. He was so happy he didn't even question the kiss after Jem's name.

1878

"I've never been great with words, so I wrote how I felt about you in music."