"I hate-no dislike you a thousand times that you may never feel because of that thick wall of ice around your heart. That thick ice that no one might break because no one cares to even change you. Like they said, people don't change after 24 hours."...
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twenty - two - official?
*
For the past few days Alec and I had been giving eachother the cold shoulder treatment. I think that I deserved it for ignoring him as he now doesn't care for me anyways. What hurts is that I had just realized that I had feelings for him and when you like someone; you can't stop thinking about them. Everyday you feel that you are being tortured by your brain. Everyday I wish to forget him for making me crazy and making me insane. I wish I could just flick these feelings off my shoulder. I wish! But what could I do?
I just cancelled a freaking plan that we have been excited for weeks. Whatever I would rather stay in my house sulking for hours, days, maybe months? I knew I couldn't do this forever. I wiped the tears that were drippng down my face as I tried to stop myself. I couldn't bring myself to stop. I ruined our stupid friendship that I didn't even notice that were there in the first place. Way to go Funneh, way to go.
But. .
Was it even one? My mind was killing me. I grabbed my phone and dialled Kyran's number. When he picked up; a sense of relief ran through me. "Kyran, can I please go out? Alone?" I heard a tedious silent until Kyran sighed. "Funneh, please be careful. But it's good that you've decided to finally take time with nature." I thanked Kyran and paced up my speed in changing my attire. I kept my head down while walking outside. Recently; when I had attended Elisse's party I had been noticed ALOT lately.
*
Love is difficult to find. But why is it that I always fall inlove with the wrong person? When will I finally find someone that I will love? I mean, love is a deep topic. A sensitive one for the least. What can I say? I distract myself by walking around and asking useless questions to myself. Don't get me wrong. I just value my time with myself. Especially when I feel that I really need it. Kyran couldn't get through me easily. So the only thing that he could do was let me be.
And I guess sometimes that plan did work. With my pathetic lovesick life; this feeling will eventually fade away right? I will finally feel at ease once I just release these feelings that have been the one causing the problems in the first place. Alec and I will only be friends and everything will be back at their place!
Yeah! Okay, the first step is like . . forgetting about feelings. Oh boy.
When I tell you that it is hard to forget about feelings; it is. Do you see how I'm acting now? I've been feeling so wrecked lately. So unlike me; I am not supposed to act like this! I wish for the wind to take me and spin me apart. Oh, that doesn't work. Only works in magic stuff. Ugh! Just please let me forget about this prick! Please. I blink back tears and wipe them quickly. Lizzy sent me an article about . .
Alec and Elisse having an official relationship.
[TO BE CONTINUED]
lol i just wanted to update...im sorry if you're hurt! please don't kill me!!
