breaking point.

Just the way it had to come..

Rebekah's pov

I wake up to the faint sound of yelling.
The folks under me seem to have trouble again..well, none of my business at all and I don't really care anyways. I walk through the cheap and fairly shitty looking, wrecked motel room I've stayed in over night. I feel kinda dizzy, like a big head ache's just approaching... I don't even bother getting dressed, seeing as it would change nothing in my state of feeling strangely disgusting and I'm just fine with the black underwear. Feels like I haven't showered in years, like there's a ton of dirt on my skin, pulling me down even though I had a shower just last night... Stretching, I sit back down on the bed for a second, reaching for the pack of Luckys on the night stand. Taking out a cigarette, I realize there are only four left now.. I would have to buy a new pack this afternoon. Luckily there was a cigarette machine just downstairs. Lighting it, I stand up again and make my way to the even smaller bathroom, stepping over last nights empty bottle of wine that couldn't have been any cheaper at all... maybe that's the reason my head aches a little. Fully opening the small bath room window which is in fact the only one, I let the cool rain of late summer in. I've always loved rain, since I can remember.. I stand there for a few seconds, eyes closed, trying to feel something..anything.... Well at least the rain smells good and seems to push away the pounding inside my skull a bit.. Taking the cigarette between my lips again, I turn around and take two steps towards the Toilette and sit down. Opening my eyes just a little, I can see the dark green leaves of the big oak tree infront of the window moving with the wind. It gives me the tiniest bit of comfort, but it's by far the best I've felt in the last few month. Besides the permanent feeling of self disgust which is just normal and has long stopped bothering me, it's just numbness. Like everything I do, I feel just numb. I don't know what I think about that, well to be honest I don't care one bit. Now that I think about it, it's been a long time since I've cared about anything at all.... Don't remember to be honest but that's probably the alcohol thing of mine. I feel like it makes me forget things, but I don't mind that at all, it's not like there's anything I'd want to remember so.... Makes me think of when I was fourteen..I used to smoke weed almost on daily basis with some dudes in the hood and it was like I forgot everything. For real, I mean everything..... Wasn't so bad to be honest, but I'm not starting that shit again, at least not right now... I have to focus at least a little on gettin on with my shit and I couldn't have this getting in my way right now.. I'm probably goin ta be stayin here a few more days before hitting the road again. I'm tired right now, I just wanna rest a tiny bit. Standing up again I inhale the last breath, letting the smoke out of my nose before throwin the filter out the window. I turn on the water, letting it run over my slender fingers first before splashing some in my face. It's cold but it helps.. I start to rub over the bags under my eyes, trying a little to get away the access of mascara. Not bothering to look in the mirror right now, I turn around and head for my duffle bag leaning against the bed. I take out some new lacy, red underwear, a simple red tank top with spaghetti straps and a baby blue jeans. I throw everything on before bending down again to take out a pair of silver creoles, my makeup as well as tooth and hairbrush. I head back to the bathroom, washing my face now more intently, before applying some skincare, foundation and finally mascara. I don't do anything with my eyebrows at all except for shaping them a little every now and then.. they're naturally pretty full and brown. When I finish I look up into the mirror, meeting my cold blue stare. My eyes seem so dull and it's like there's nothing I can do about it. I look at my left cheek, seeing the all to familiar longish scar from all these years ago.. It's too deep to cover with make up, no matter how much I use - it's always clearly visible. It seems he always got what he wanted in the end.. Luckily it's the only one, well in my face...... Sighing I brush my long blonde hair before putting it in a cute messy bun, with loose strands framing my cheeks and put the creoles in my ears. I didn't really need to get ready for anything, I just wanted it, it was long needed somehow... Just as I've pulled out another cigarette and head for my black bomber jacket and matching combat boots there's a knock at the door. I quickly put on both when there's a second knock. "Yeah, yeah..I' cummin." I say annoyed, cigarette lazily between my lips, still unlit. Opening the door, thinking nothing at all, that it's just the owner of the motel or something, I come face to face with two cops.. For a second I thought the cigarette was gonna fall outta my mouth but I stand my ground. "Rebekah Briston?" The male officer asks, it doesn't sound like a question at all though. I take the cigarette in my fingers, knowing there was nothing I could say to make this any better... I just lick my lips, tucking the bottom between my teeth in the the process. Looking quickly to the floor and then back at them, I raise one eyebrow though I perfectly well knew which words were going to come out of his mouth next. "Ms. Briston you are arrested. Everything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law. Please hold your hands out now infront of you." He says and I see no other option right there and then as doing so. I obey. It had to come like this sooner or later, I knew it deep down and just kinda waited for it the past days. It had been pretty quiet now for far too long, I knew they were up to something.. But really where could I hide? This was the best shot I had and had worked out now quiet a while..Being on the road permanently, staying in crappy motels just to sleep a bit, keep avoiding the big cities cuz like every cop in the next five states knew my face... But there comes a time, everybody needs to rest, just a few days at least.. and there's the mistake, right there. I am sure somebody here saw my face, remembered it. It doesn't make much of a difference how anyway. I'm going to prison that's for sure, it was from the beginning. And after everything I've done I won't get out of it anytime soon.