You sit on your parents couch with a cup of hot chocolate in your hands. You hug the blanket in your lap closer to your chest. The cold hasn't left your body since you left Tom in London. You can't seem to get warm without him.
You hear a knock on the door and your stomach drops. You don't know why, but every time your phone buzzes or rings or someone knocks at the door, a part of your heart thinks it could be Tom. But you know that it won't be. You hurt him too badly, you left him without any warning. You couldn't blame him if he never spoke to you again.
You stand and open your front door to see your ex standing face to face with you. You open your mouth to ask what the hell he was doing here, but you were cut off.
"(Y/E/N)," your father calls from behind you.
You turn around and gape at him. Your father walks to the door and hands him a check, which (Y/E/N) takes softly.
"It's for mowing your grandma's grass," your dad explains.
You turn to (Y/E/N). "You still do that?"
(Y/E/N) drops his eyes and nods.
He offered to mow her grass for free whenever you were both still dating. He did it for free back then, but you never wondered about it after you broke up.
"I insist on paying him." your dad adds.
Your dad hands him the check, thanks him, and leaves you two standing at your front door awkwardly.
"So how have you been?" he asks.
"Been better," you answer. You pull the door. "Thanks for doing that. I'll see you around."
"(Y/N), wait," (Y/E/N) says, putting his hand up to the door. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. Your grandma told me what happened with you and Todd -"
"Tom," you correct him, knowing that he knows his name.
"- Tom, sorry." but he hides a sheepish grin. "I just think you deserve better. You deserve better than what I did to you & you deserve better than him."
You don't know what to say.
"Would you want to hang out sometime?" he asks quietly.
"What? No." you shake your head immediately. You know that Tom would be furious if he knew that (Y/E/N) were here asking you this. Then you remember that Tom isn't a part of your life anymore, & he hasn't made an effort to be since you left London.
Maybe he's over me. You think to yourself. It wouldn't surprise you, with all the girls constantly fighting for Tom's attention, but the realization stings. Then you think that maybe you should try to move on, too.
"Oh, okay," (Y/E/N) stutters, his eyes glued to your front porch in embarrassment. "Sorry."
You see how embarrassed and sad You just made him and immediately feel guilty. You sigh.
"Have you eaten?" you ask.
Another two weeks go by without any word from Tom. (Y/E/N) has been coming to your house, looking for excuses to see you. You've seen him a handful of times and even agreed to go to dinner with him one evening. While you were eating, you told him that you couldn't handle anything other than a friendship with him. You didn't want another relationship and especially not with (Y/E/N).
But one Saturday, you were helping your mother plant her garden. It was hot outside and you were sweating in your tank top and shorts. (Y/E/N) stopped by to pick up a check from your dad since he was still mowing your grandma's yard.
"(Y/E/N), can you help us for a moment?" your mom called to him.
He was getting into his car but stopped and walked over to you.
"I think we're hitting a rock," you explain as you fight to dig through the tough ground.
He bends down next to you and takes the shovel from your hand. He scrapes and digs into the ground, then turns to face you.
"I think I know what the problem is," he says.
"What?"
(Y/E/N) takes a scoop full of dirt and flings it at you. Dirt goes into your hair, shirt, and mouth. You spit in shock. You glare at him.
"You're a weakling." he says grinning. "There's no rock."
"You're dead!" you exclaim.
You jump up from where you crouched and reach for bff He shovel. He pulls away from you, holding the shovel above his head, just out of reach. He laughs as you jump and reach for it while calling him names.
"Give it!" you demand, but you're laughing along with him.
"Nope." He shakes his head with a playful smile.
You go behind him and reach, and he bends over, forcing you to jump on his back to keep reaching for the shovel in front of his head.
You hear a dauntingly dark voice clear his throat. You freeze, recognizing that sound all too well. You look up and see Tom, standing next to your mom across your yard. His hands are dug into his pockets, his brow is furrowed and his mouth is set in a tight frown.
"Tom?" you ask. You realize suddenly that you're still on your ex's back and jump off abruptly.
His face lightens whenever you say his name, but his anger is still clear. "Hello, darling."
