The Splash Zone

I've Got You

* Explanation to scene and characters in previous update. 

"Hello..."

"Hello." Eben parrots back like it isn't odd at all that he has placed himself between my legs as I sit on the kitchen counter.

"You asked me for once. If that is really what you want, if controlling that moment will bring you peace of mind, then let me give you that one moment you can look back on and cherish. One that you can look back on and know it happened because you wanted it to." Eben's vocal cords sound like the pinch at the end, making his voice come out raw in a way that showcases the turbulent emotions underneath.

"It is not a moment worth dying for," he continues, "but to you it is and I can't change that. All I can do is give you the choice you asked me to."

Someone pinch me because right now at this very second it sounds like Eben Redus is saying yes. Yes to...

My skin burns hot like a roman candle. The heat spreads into my cheeks down the back of my neck and across my chest. The image of two dice rolling, slowly tumbling before tittering on their edges is vivid in my mind. When the dice finally land on a side, I can't see what my fate is. That's what makes each second we breathe so precious. It's what makes life so hauntingly beautiful and devastating at the same time. We never know what the next second holds. We can't see the paths that shift every time we make a decision. We can only see as far as the next turn.

I'm not sure what there is to really think about. I should just go for it. Eben is breathtaking and here he is standing in front of me telling me it is my choice. He's doing it because, somewhere deep inside of him, he cares. He knows what this moment means to me. This isn't a confession of hidden love. This is a confession of understanding.

I'm scared to say yes, but I'm terrified to say no. No means potentially losing my choice, or should I say, having it forcefully taken away by a psychopath. I've been lucky enough that timing has kept Admirer at bay.

How long though do I have before Admirer grows tired of this game he's playing and makes good on his threats? A week? A month? A year? It could be tomorrow.

Most of my peers are planning their futures. What colleges they are going to or how they are going to spend winter break. For me, I wonder if I'll make it past tomorrow. Every day I wake up wondering if this is the last day I'll know freedom. The last day I'll be a free captive because the truth is my freedom was stripped from me the day Admirer sent me that first text. He chose me and now I have my own choice to make.

Is it really right for me to ask this of Eben all because I can't be certain of what the future holds for me? All I want is to control what choices I still have while I can. Is that such a bad thing?

Eben lifts my tucked chin, pulling the lip I'm biting in my worrying thoughts from my teeth with the pad of this thumb.

"I'm not the type to do something I don't want to do."

His words bring a small smile to my face. I like that Eben knows I'm considering his feelings in this decision. Last thing I want is for him to do this because he feels forced.

Eben has a hard time saying no to me when I'm scared. The way he's looking at me now lets me know he can tell fear of the unknown is a major contributing factor to this whole situation. The cords in his neck flex. He hates the fear he can see in me. More than anything, I think he hates the person out there that has rooted this fear so deeply within me that it's become a tangible part of me.

I close my eyes, letting the feeling of the backside of Eben's free hand sliding down my cheek marinate into me in hopes it will shed light on my next big decision. I need it to help me understand what it truly means to say yes and all that it encompasses. I've spent over a year fighting to protect the very thing I will be surrendering if I say yes. I've been holding onto this part of me so tightly, I'm not sure I know how to let it go even though I want to.