It Was Always You ~ A Call Me By Your Name Fan Fiction~

Chapter Two

As Elio sat by the swimming pool swirling his foot in the water, he leaned his head back and let the sun shine down on his face. Three years later and Elio had graduated high school and was in college studying Art History, Music Theory, English Literature, and Philosophy.

Even three years later however, his appearance had not changed much. He was still the same skinny, brown haired boy he had been all those summers ago.

He had had a couple girlfriends since Oliver had left, but none of them had worked out. Though he would never admit it to himself, he had never stopped loving Oliver.

He opened his eyes, stood up, and stretched. He went and grabbed his bike from behind the villa and rode off.

He rode through town and and out along a long dirt road. He arrived at the pond he had taken Oliver to. He couldn't count all the times he had come there since that day. He usually brought a book with him but on occasions like today, he came here to lay in the grass and just think.

As he lay there, staring up at the clouds, his mind wandered back to that one magical summer. He had felt so free when he was with Oliver, a feeling he had never had before. But as he had watched Oliver disappear as the train took him from Elio, he had felt it fade. His mind wandered back to those forbidden nights with Oliver, the sensation of his body next to Elio, and the feel of his lips on Elio's.

Elio shook his head to clear those thoughts, those desires. "I'm sure he's married by now", he told himself, "he must be."

When Elio returned to the villa, he found his parents sitting outside in the shade.

"Ah, Elio", his mother said, "there you are. Would you care for some lemonade? Mafalda just made it."

Elio smiled and shook his head. He went inside and made his way up to his bedroom where he grabbed his music notes and began studying. He heard the phone ring downstairs and heard his father answer it. Elio sighed and put his headphones on.

A few minutes later he felt a tap on his shoulder, he jumped and turned around. His father was standing there. Elio took off his headphones. "Che cosa?" (what?) Elio asked.

"Elio", Mr. Perlman began, "that was Oliver on the phone just now."

Elio felt his stomach drop. "What?" he asked, "why was he calling?"

"He's in town", Mr. Perlman answered, "he's been in Italy for a couple of days. He asked if it was alright for him to come by. I, of course, said yes."

Elio was nearly shaking but he didn't want his father to know. While he knew that both of his parents had at least an idea about what had happened between him and Oliver, he would never reveal what exactly had transpired.

"Oh", Elio said, trying to sound as unconcerned as possible. He knew his father could see right through him. "When will he be here?" he asked.

"An hour", his father responded, "it will be good to see him again", he continued, "you have had no correspondence with him lately?"

Elio shook his head; he had not talked to Oliver since he had called the Perlmans to announce that he was to be married. His father nodded understandingly and walked out of the room.

Elio collapsed onto his bed. He was so confused, so many thoughts were racing through head. Why is he coming here? Why after two and a half years with no interaction between them was he suddenly in Italy wanting to come see them?

All of a sudden, Elio felt a combination of anger, sadness, and longing well up inside of him. He had assumed that Oliver had considered the time they spent together nothing more than a summer fling, a simple lark. As hard as that was to swallow, Elio had done his best to accept it and move on. He had finished high school, started college, dated other people, and he knew that as soon as he saw Oliver, all of that would come crashing down around him. He had tried so hard to forget him only to have Oliver decide to come back to what? Poke fun at him? Apologize? Elio didn't know what to do, he considered leaving so he didn't have to see Oliver but he knew that would be pointless. He realized that he would have to stay there and see him, even talk to him. Elio decided that all he could do was to act civil towards him, what else could he do? Elio took a book from his shelf and tried to distract himself to no avail.

All of a sudden, an hour had passed and Elio heard the sound of a car pull up. His stomach lurched and his heartbeat quickened. He got up from his bed, crossed to the window, and looked out. Then he saw him, Oliver. He was getting out of the car and looking around. Elio began breathing deeply. He looked practically the same as he had when Elio had said goodbye to him on the train station platform. Elio saw his parents come out and greet Oliver warmly. Elio turned away from the window, he had never felt more scared in his life. He heard his father calling him to come down. He went to the mirror to make sure he looked alright, then he went to the door and exited. He took a deep breath and began walking down the stairs. He reached the bottom and found his parents and Oliver standing in the entry hall.

"Elio!" his mother said, "look who's here."

Elio raised his eyes up to Oliver and found that he was staring intently at him, as if waiting to see his reaction.

"Hello", Elio said, he smiled with his mouth, but not his eyes.

"Hi, Elio", Oliver said, hesitantly. Out of the corner of his eye, Elio saw his mother glance at his father. "Well", she said, "we'll leave you two to talk for a while. I'll go tell Mafalda to make a fresh pitcher of lemonade." She smiled and walked away accompanied by Mr. Perlman, leaving the two men alone in the hall. Elio dropped his gaze to the ground, he could feel Oliver's eyes looking at him.

"How have you been?" Oliver asked.

"Fine", Elio answered, still not looking at him.

Oliver sighed. "Look", he said, "we need to talk." Elio shrugged his shoulders as if to say "there's nothing to talk about." "We can't do it here", Oliver continued, "come on". He gestured for Elio to follow him. Reluctantly, he did.

They walked to a cluster of trees a good distance from the house. "Alright", Oliver said, "I need to explain."

"There's nothing to explain", Elio responded, shortly, "I understand.

"No", Oliver said, "you don't. Look, I get if you don't want to have anything to do with me, but I want you to understand. During that summer we spent together, I had a lot going on and I was confused."

"I get it", Elio said, "everything that happened between us wasn't real. You made a mistake doing those things with me. I understand perfectly."

He turned away to start walking back but Oliver grabbed his arm. "Please", he said, "let me finish. I was confused because of the relationship I was in. This girl and I had been on and off countless times. During that summer, we were off. You have to understand the position I was in. You're wrong when you say I made a mistake with you. Elio, I ended my engagement over two years ago."

Elio finally looked up at him, Oliver was looking straight at Elio. "Why?" Elio asked softly.

"We were two very different people with different interests and goals in life, we just weren't compatible", Oliver answered, "Ever since the first day I left you, you were the only thing on my mind."

"If that was true, then why didn't you try to contact me or say anything?" Elio asked, "three years and I never once heard from you."

"You were seventeen", Oliver responded, "I didn't think it was fair for-"

But Elio cut him off before he was able to finish. "No", he said, "you know what's not fair? What's not fair is sleeping with someone and spending time with them and traveling with them yet never once mentioning that once you left I wouldn't hear from you for three years except for one phone call telling me that you were going to be married but then two and a half years later you show up and think everything's going to be fine between us. After you left, I had to accept the fact that what we did together meant nothing to you. I tried to forget and I tried to move on. I started college and I dated other people because I knew you were gone. I spent years trying to tell my self to forget you, to forget that summer, because I knew if I didn't, I would never be able to lead the life I wanted. And then, right as I think I'm finally getting over you, you turn up here and all the walls I put up around myself begin to crumble all around me. That's what's not fair, Oliver."

Elio turned around and walked back to the villa, leaving Oliver standing there in the trees.