Humans Of Coffee World

Dementors

Hi Wattpad!

It's been a while, hasn't it? 

This writing page has cobwebs all around it. And my writer's block is smirking at me as he leans against the work desk I'm at. 

I opened my account after months of neglect and fear: fear that this place won't be the same. My friends won't be here. Nobody would want to read what I vomit up here. But my inbox and Notifs are flooded with love. :') Unconditional, heartbreakingly precious love. This feels just like home. Old, comfortable, and welcoming. (THANK YOU WATTPAD GODS FOR THIS SAFE SPACE!) 

*Coughs in Sentimentality*

So this place usually deals with the cool stories I come across; all the amazing new people I meet etc etc. The past year I've met plenty of them. I have had some major life changes, which I shall detail below: 

A) I got my first ever Real Job! (Hint: Think Toothpaste company. . . . . Yep, you got it.) 

B) I got my first ever husband.

C) I got my first ever McDonald's free breakfast meal (To the maker of McHashbrown; who hurt you?) 

D) I got to write my first ever resignation letter After 7 months of Corporate Slavery.

Anyhoo as you can tell, all of these above are life changing events, and as such I find it hard to connect to this old version of myself that used to freely express stuff on the internet to complete strangers. 

Ok. Now that we've dispensed with half-assed apologies and excuses; I want to tell you about corporate life, and how I feel like my soul is being sucked away from my body. :) Sound fun?

Nope, no it doesn't sound fun. So I won't talk to you about joy sucking dementors I work with. I will instead attempt at explaining the nature of my job. 

Imagine a toothpaste maker...wait.

(that's a bit too specific...)

Imagine a Toothbrush maker. He makes toothbrushes of 3 different kinds. But he feels like he should do more. So he starts making laundry detergent. It doesn't make sense, but it gets him more money, and what the heck, people are dumb and they'd buy Oxygen if we could somehow bottle it. 

So he starts selling that detergent. But that detergent is only for rich people. So he decides to get money from poor people, so he makes another detergent. And then he realizes that the middle tier class (neither poor, nor rich) is confused what to buy: so he makes yet another detergent for them too. These three brands work exactly the same! But they come in different colored packs and different names, so people eagerly shell over money for their favorite! 

Some years down the lane; he hires me to look after one of their detergents. Me: someone who had never done laundry a day in her life. 

"You must do market visits E. You should do Home Visits too! It's the rule of the company!" he says. And so I break the news to my family, that I will be traveling with colleagues to rural areas of my third world country, and live in a seedy hotel, just so i could talk to strangers about their grocery habits....

My husband was thrilled for me (He's an accountant, and they don't deal with such delicious bullshit in his area of business. He thinks my job is "Fun".)

My mother took to the prayer mat, wishing that the trip would be cancelled. 

I wouldn't say that my trip to Sahiwal, helped me draw any marketing insight that i was supposed to find. i didn't discover the Next Big Campaign Idea. I didn't even figure out why our quarterly sales were particularly low in that zone. I just took this as a social experiment, where I got to meet interesting people from vastly different backgrounds. 

I will detail the stories of a couple of them; in the next few stories. 

Meanwhile: check out my soon-to-be-ex work desk. Ryan- my work Boyfriend- is always there to keep me company. :') I'll miss my desk, you guys, If anything at all...