Rules Were Made to be Broken

‣ scene 09 [comin' closer and closer]

"Stress isn't good for you, you know. It can lead to cardiovascular problems."

"Oh, trust me, I'm well aware."

Chihiro hadn't bothered with useless formalities and had gotten right down to the point of her concern. Not that it was any of her business. Kiyotaka didn't look at her and took a couple of bites out of his turkey sandwich and a sip of water. He could barely see her in the peripheral of his vision, and he saw her shake her head.

"...Do you even like working for this company?"

Kiyotaka paused. The fact that she was asking him these kinds of questions only confirmed his suspicions— his carefully-constructed facade had been cracked. His insecurity was leaking through. It was his worst nightmare. He had to recover somehow.

"What sort of a question is that? O-Of course I do!"

"...Huh." Kiyotaka tried to eat his lunch in peace, but Chihiro studied him like some kind of sample under a microscope. "It is a high-stress job, you know, even for people that like it."

"...Oh? It causes you stress?"

Chihiro nodded. Kiyotaka was genuinely surprised to hear it. She did always seem nervous, but he'd thought that was just a point of her personality and not at all connected to the job.

"Well, yeah, sure. I think most jobs are at least a little bit stressful. And people expect a lot from me! I... don't want to let my father down, either."

"You could never let your father down."

Kiyotaka wasn't sure when he'd gotten so reassuring, but something about hearing Chihiro doubt herself tugged at his heartstrings. Was that what he looked like to her right now? Like some lost, lonely little kid?

Chihiro giggled.

"I'm happy that you feel that way, but even I mess up sometimes."

She finally started eating her own food. When she was about halfway finished, Chihiro gave Kiyotaka a warm smile.

"...You know, the office probably couldn't function without you holding it all together! I've always admired that about you. You're always so dependable, always offering help and staying energized. You're a constant. That's... why I don't like seeing you acting so anxious. If there's something wrong, you can tell me. I won't go tattling on you to my father or anything. ...I-Is it because Ichijou retired? Dad said that your workload went up after that."

I'm a constant? Kiyotaka thought bitterly. I'm a lie. He'd mastered putting on a friendly and invested front at work. His coworkers thought that he lived for his job, and they weren't entirely wrong (he literally didn't know how to do anything else), but they didn't know his reasons or sense the fact that he loathed everything about the place.

Kiyotaka sighed. If Chihiro was this worried about him, he felt that she deserved some kind of an answer. Being rude or dismissive to her was akin to kicking a puppy, and what kind of a person would he be if he did that?

"Tell me, Fujisaki-chan, why do you work there?"

Chihiro thoughtfully chewed a French fry before answering.

"Well... It's nerve-wracking, sure, but I actually like programming. I wouldn't stick around if I didn't. The reward of doing what I love to do is worth all of the headaches."

A simple, honest answer, and one that made sense. Jobs were stressful for everyone, but for Kiyotaka, there was never any kind of reward that made him feel like it was worth it. What kind of person spent thousands of dollars going to an expensive university just to go into a field they hated, anyway? Maybe Kiyotaka had it all wrong. Maybe Kiyotaka was the one who didn't make any sense. Maybe people like Mondo were the rational ones.

"Why do you work with us, Ishimaru-kun? Surely you don't mind my asking you the same question."

Kiyotaka flinched, and then he sighed.

He didn't have any good enough answer for her.

"...Well, you see, my family puts a lot of pressure on me. They're the ones who wanted me to go into this field. And... if I'm being honest, I'm uncertain about it. I've been distracted lately because I've been thinking about my career path."

He was leaving quite a bit out, but that was the gist of it. He'd been spilling an awful lot of personal information lately, and he was trying to keep it to a minimum where he could.

"That's unfair," Chihiro said simply. "My parents support me in everything that I decide to do, even when they don't quite understand it. They're not supposed to make you unhappy."

"I-I never said that I'm unhappy!" I am. "It's just... I'm not sure if the IT field is the right place for me. I might change my long-term plan. Th-That doesn't mean that I'll be quitting tomorrow or anything. The pay and benefits are excellent. It's... just a job, right?"

He forced a casual laugh that didn't seem to convince Chihiro at all. She shook her head disapprovingly.

"What is it that you'd rather be doing, then, if you don't like business?"

Kiyotaka frowned, feeling his cheeks turn slightly pink. Chihiro's big hazel eyes were like a ray of truth, one that he couldn't ignore, that draws honesty from its victims. He couldn't lie to her. He could try to be discreet, right? He leaned in, and she imitated him, looking anticipatory.

"...In university, I minored in education."

"Really?" To Kiyotaka's surprise, Chihiro smiled and looked impressed. "I think that's wonderful. You would make an excellent teacher. You're so good at motivating others!"

Kiyotaka only hummed in response, hoping to drop the subject. He didn't like to think about what could have been, and he didn't want to explain his reasons for that dream job. Chihiro seemed to take the hint and returned to her food, deciding to spare Kiyotaka any further embarrassment.

Almost. Her next comment made Kiyotaka choke on a potato chip (was she trying to kill him or something?!).

"But just so you know, you're not the only person here who struggles with insecurities. I've always been self-conscious about how weak I am. Wh-Which is why I'm actually glad you got so hopelessly drunk a few months ago. If that hadn't happened, I never would have met Oowada-kun!"

Kiyotaka pretended to clear his throat and feigned a casual stance.

"...I'm sorry, but what did you just say? How do you know his name?!"

Chihiro stared at him, tilting her head for a moment. She smirked.

"I've already told you about this, Ishimaru-kun. If you don't know, you must not have been paying attention to what I was saying."

Kiyotaka racked his brain and couldn't find any memory of a conversation where Chihiro had said that name. He really must not have been paying attention.

"I-I'm afraid it must have slipped my mind," he fibbed. Chihiro seemed to accept this, even if she still looked suspicious.

"Well, since you forgot, I'll tell you again. About a month after he rescued you, I ran into Oowada-kun while he was walking his dogs in the park and introduced myself to him. I thanked him for saving my coworker. A-And I just happened to notice that he's really big and muscular, and I asked him how he got that way. ...To make a long story short, he offered to help me work out! We meet up once or twice a week to train. I can lift thirty whole pounds now!"

Kiyotaka ignored how sad it was that she was proud of being able to lift thirty pounds and focused on the glaring problem: somehow, this damned trucker was slowly creeping his way into his immediate circle. Like he was trying to set in hooks and grab hold of his place before he could be removed.

"That... is wonderful, Fujisaki-chan!" Kiyotaka forced the widest and perhaps the most blatantly fake grin he'd ever sported. "I'm glad that you made a new friend because of my idiocy."

He tried to ignore the feeling of dread climbing its way into his gut as Chihiro laughed gleefully.

Kiyotaka would have to commit extra hard to his change of schedule, lest Mondo Oowada sink his teeth further into him.